You Albrecht, me Giselle

Unique summary from the Australian Ballet's advertising flyer:



"Revisit the traditional charms of the classic Giselle. Girl meets boy. Girl gets boy. Girl loses boy, dies of a broken heart and joins a band of vengeful ghosts."

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New avatar

After about four years of using this same avatar with a pic of Lucy Lawless, I think I'm finally ready to two-time it.



The new one is a pic of the wonderful Miranda Richardson as Mme. Giry from "Phantom of the Opera". The tagline comes from this bit in Cleolinda's parody, POTO in 15 mins:

———

MADAME GIRY: Marguerite! You weel leave ze passazh alone, please!



MEG: But Christine is missing! And there’s this total peeping-Tom mirror door thing, and she’s probably been kidnapped by some stalky jerkwad!



MADAME GIRY: And... your point ees...?

———



I made two versions, one for this site and one for LJ and boards. Now I just have to get used to them!

Click for avatars.

~ ~ ~

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Now I know my ABC...

A question for the ages. Why is it that some fanfic readers feel compelled to compliment the writer on good spelling? Isn't this a bit like going to a film and praising the film-makers for having pointed the camera in the right direction, or indeed, having thought to turn it on?

@настроение: baffled

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A Solo For The Living - Chapter 27

A Solo For The Living has been updated, at long last.



Chapter 27 - Fireworks

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Meaning of life

Having been born with an apparent immunity to existential angst, I really enjoyed a little poem by Igor Guberman, which Dolly posted recently.



My attempt at a translation:



Life's meaning is not ours to understand it

It flees before our brief, uncertain thoughts;

To us are given only colours, sounds, letters --

And the fulfilment of a yearning in the soul.

Click for Russian original.

Цель жизни пониманью не дана

и недоступна мысли скоротечной,

даны лишь краски, звуки, письмена

и утоленье смутности сердечной.

---

Game Of Their Lives

My review of a male-bonding soccer movie, in case there are any Gerard Butler fans reading.

Who Stole the US Flag?

I'm amused to admit that yes, I did see this soccer movie for the sole reason that Gerard Butler was in it -- and no, it was not a great film overall. However, it was stylishly filmed and it did have some very good acting in the occasional drama scene between all those soccer games. A review described this as "a chick flick for guys" and, well, it is. But that's not a bad thing.



Even though Gerard Butler has maybe 50 lines to work with in the entire film (not ridiculous, considering it's a large ensemble cast), he is actually very good. His character is in some ways the opposite of the Stranger in "Dear Frankie": he is slimmer and far less physically imposing here, but conveys a sense of pent-up frustration that is at times almost scary (as in a scene where a bunch of guys get drunk - I would not want to be home when this guy staggers in at 2 am!). Completely different from the Stranger's gentleness beneath the tough facade, although similar in that both characters are taciturn and keep their emotions to themselves. He even manages to talk in the archetypal tight-mouthed "Italian-American" way. A particularly nice moment is when he blames himself for a game the team lost very badly, and refuses to get on the bus with the others. GB milks the sсriрt for all it's worth and this rare outburst from such a solid controlled character makes an impression. On the whole, it was certainly not a great film, but it had its fun moments, and GB's acting was the main draw.



What I want to know is...



1. Why were there six copies of this film in my local video store, when it's a straight-to-video low-budget soccer movie with zero publicity?



2. And why were three of these copies borrowed on the weekend? Could it be because this is the first G-rated film I've seen since "Cool Runnings", or is GB's fanbase growing at a frightening rate?



3. Who came up with the (brilliant) marketing strategy of removing the huge American flag from the photo on the DVD cover? On the poster at IMDb, the flag is superimposed over the sky. On my DVD cover there is only the sky. Nice.

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Opening lines

And the award for best opening line in a drama goes to this gem from ff.net:



The snow fell gently on the cold hard ground and Jean Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg sat on it.

---

It ain't Shakespeare...

Gerard Butler, contrasting his dialogue in Dear Frankie with that in Tomb Raider 2: "You're actually talking about stuff you understand and not gibberish to Chinese gangs hiding up in the hills." (Complete article here).



I wonder if the screenwriters of Tomb Raider 2 object to their sсriрt being called "gibberish"? Heh. Reminds me of the hilarious scene from Notting Hill, where Julia Roberts' character rehearses the lines for her latest blockbuster.

Click to read it >>.

WILLIAM

'Message from command. Would you like them to send in the HKs?'



ANNA

'No, turn over 4 TRS's and tell them we need radar feedback before the KFT's return at 19 hundred -- then inform the Pentagon that we'll be needing black star cover from ten hundred through 12.15' -- and don't you dare say one word about how many mistakes I made in that speech or I'll pelt you with olives.



WILLIAM

'Very well, captain -- I'll pass that on straightaway.'



ANNA

'Thank you.' How many mistake did I make?



WILLIAM

Eleven.



ANNA

Damn. 'And Wainwright...'



WILLIAM

Cartwright.



ANNA

'Cartwright, Wainwright, whatever your name is, I promised little Jimmy I'd be home for his birthday -- could you get a message through that I may be a little late.'



WILLIAM

'Certainly. And little Johnny?'



ANNA

My son's name is Johnny?

---

POTO-related

And yet more "Phantom" stuff (hmm, I'm clearly on a roll this week): a very good 40-page(!!) article on the making of the film. Some quotes:

Patrick Wilson in a moment of charming ignorance

"I wanted to convey the zest for living that people had then. In those days lives were lived very dramatically. You died young, so when you found love, you went after it." I've heard this one before, but it never fails to amuse me. People died young ... in late-19th century Paris?!

Joel Schumacher on the setting of the movie

"This period was a kind of golden, innocent moment," notes director Joel Schumacher, "just before the Prussians hit the gates of Paris and the Franco-Prussian war began." Never mind that 1870/71 was exactly when the Prussians hit those gates; presumably he meant 1869/70 and things got a little muddled during production. Still, I do think the film conveys the sense of being set in the last days of the Empire, with all that extreme opulence.

Joel Schumacher on working with Miranda Richardson

"When I met with Miranda to discuss the role, it was the only meeting I've ever had with an actress where I felt she was auditioning me. She had a list of about a hundred questions that she asked me, and I loved it." I can just picture this!

Ciaran Hinds on the roles of the two managers

"Andre is interested in the artistic and cultural side of the theatre, whereas Firmin is more involved in getting bums on seats," says Hinds, who co-starred with Cate Blanchett in Schumacher's 2003 thriller Veronica Guerin. "Joel told me to think of Firmin as a used car salesman, slightly flashy and over-dressed."

Patrick Wilson on watching Emmy and Gerry in "Point of No Return"

Patrick Wilson found his reaction to watching Butler and Rossum perform "The Point of No Return" to be similar to that of his character's when Raoul witnesses the intensity of Christine's connection to the Phantom. "I spent three months shooting the love story with Emmy, just hearing about this other guy," Wilson recalls. "When I finally saw them together and felt the passion they had for each other, it was heartbreaking."

The make-up designer on the Phantom's deformity and not alienating the audience

Like the design of the Phantom's costume and mask, his underlying physical deformity had to be rendered convincingly, without alienating the audience in the process. "We didn't want his disfigurement to be horribly grotesque," Byrne acknowledges. "It was about trying to find the real person behind the mask. We want the audience to see his attractiveness, his anger and his vulnerability."

A factoid about Carlotta's costumes

The stunning costume that represents Carlotta's idea of an "everyday outfit" required the most fabric of any of the custom-made pieces: 27 meters of deep purple silk.



Lots more info in the article itself.

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Lighten up

Okay, after watching the incredible old French movie, Cleo from 5 to 7, which traces 2 hours in the life of a young singer as she waits for confirmation of her cancer diagnosis - I have identified the main reason why I don't feel at home in the Phandom. Well, not so much identified it but crystallised for myself the vague uncomfortable feeling I have had for a long time. But first - the movie, which has just been catapulted to a spot in my Top 10 Films Ever. Basically its message is the rejection of negativity and "morbidity" as the ultimate artistic exprеssion, and instead the celebration of life in all its imperfections. At one point, the singer rejects a beautiful, tragic song because - "you want to revolutionise the music world with a hymn to despair? It'd be like a successful funeral!"



And you know what? This is exactly what I miss in the Phandom. This sense of physical joy at the mere fact of existence, coupled with a healthy dose of self-irony and the ability to laugh in the face of horrible ugly things. I miss the humour and light-heartedness of the Xenaverse that never denied the horrible things in life (war, death, betrayal) but also did not allow the characters or the viewer to sink into a pit of morbidity and wallow in it like a hippopotamus in the mudflats of the Nile. (With the exception of two story arcs which I, and a lot of other fans, detest). Angst is fun in small doses but wallowing in it is a denial of life. And an inability to poke fun at yourself and make tongue-in-cheek comments is simply boring.



So there it is: I'm a weird "phan". Because the way I see it - bugger morbidity! I love the humour in Leroux's novel, and the witty self-parody in the movie. I love the way it pokes fun at all that is Gothic and macabre. I thoroughly enjoy the "shock horror" silliness of the music and the fact that the humour does not take away from the passion and tragedy, but actually heightens it. In short, I love "Phantom" for all the same reasons I love "Xena": it's campy, silly, fun, larger-than-life, with an intelligent and moving heart to the story, and a passion and ambiguity that capture my imagination. To reshape it, as so many fans do, into the epitome of teen-goth angst is to rob the story of all its beauty and meaning.



A friend commented recently in a thread on the "Xena" board that the best advice she ever got was "Get over it", which, she said, applies to so many things. I agree. I only wish more phans felt comfortable abandoning the excessively morbid focus of the fandom and instead embraced the abundant fun in the source material. Not that there is anything wrong with tragedy, but tragedy without laughter is as boring and empty as comedy without tears.



...And that's tonight's rant.

@музыка: Noa, "(Life Is) Beautiful That Way"

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Fandom and home

One of the eternal mysteries of fandom life...

When is a fandom a home?

When is a fandom a home?



When I first found other Xena/Ares shippers years ago, it was as though I was home - there was an immediate sense of belonging, understanding and being understood. I still remember the joy I felt at realising that I could now share all my dubious ideas on the show with others who were on the same wavelength. It's not just the pairing, it's a whole collection of views that depend on several basic axioms -- and here were people who accepted the same axioms! It was heaven.



And yet, I have never found anything remotely like it in the "Phantom" fandom, with the notable exception of three wonderful people (one of whom is a fellow Xena/Ares fan to boot, and yep, Lyndal, you're one of the other two). There is nothing wrong with the fandom itself, the people are lovely. Some even like my fics. It's just that I don't seem to belong, in the sense of communal feeling and being on the same fan wavelength. I wondered for a while if it was because I was a newbie... But no. I just seem to have completely different priorities to almost everyone else, and it makes being a fan... well, lonely.



And thus ends the self-pity session. In my excuse I will cite physical and mental exhaustion.

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Earthbound - Russian translation!

The lovely and brilliant Nouvelle (aka Lonely Blue Cat) has translated my short "Phantom"-based fic, "Earthbound" into Russian! The translation is wonderful, I'm completely thrilled!



Earthbound/Приземленные/

Переводчик - Nouvelle

Рейтинг - PG

Саммари - Кристина находит красоту во тьме - но какова цена?

Оригинал - Earthbound



Приземленные



Говорили, что Рауль де Шаньи продал душу дьяволу, чтобы заполучить такую жену, как Кристина, и не прогадал. Но, впрочем, слухи не всегда бывают правдивы.



Поначалу говорили, что Кристина де Шаньи была чужой, и это было правдой, но не в том смысле, который предполагался.



Потом заговорили о том, что Кристина де Шаньи красива, и это было правдой, но не в том смысле, который предполагался.



Позже стали говорить, что Кристина де Шаньи счастлива.



Ее день начинался спустя минуту после восхода солнца. Она целовала мужа, накидывала домашнее платье и занималась своим туалетом, перекидывалась словечком с поваром о планах на обед, потом опять легко взбегала наверх в детскую, не обращая внимания на боль в спине, как раз вовремя, чтобы застать пробуждение детей. Для нее не было ничего прекраснее или драгоценнее этих первых мимолетных мгновений: их встрепанные головы с трудом отрываются от подушек, маленькие кулачки протирают затуманенные сном глаза, первый радостный возглас обоих "Мама!", приветствующий ее. Близнецы, мальчик и девочка. Она не знала большего чуда, чем момент, когда она впервые взяла их на руки и поняла, что она дала им жизнь, что она оберегала их собственной плотью, и кровью, и костями. Тогда она в первый раз почувствовала гордость за свое тело. В первый раз она смогла понять себя.



Утренние часы проходили в наблюдениях за уроками детей, в заботах о доме; днем, когда ее муж возвращался, они вместе с удовольствием обедали, или, иногда, перед обедом прогуливались по парку. Больше всего они любили осень, ее миловидное очарование хрусткого золота, ложащегося под ноги, черную сеть ветвей над головой в бахроме последних лучей солнца, и листья, вальсирующие вниз, к ним на землю. Тихая ясность октябрьского воздуха, превращающаяся постепенно в пронизывающий холод ноября, пока деревья роняли свои высыхающие слезы. Такую красоту редко ценят молодые влюбленные, но они ведь когда-то были детьми и вместе учились видеть истинную природу вещей.



Осенью дни были коротки, так что и ужин бывал недолгим и торопливым. Они усаживались за стол в столовой, все четверо; дети, одетые в лучший бархат и кружева, широко распахнувшие глаза и притихшие. Кристина с мужем негромко беседовали, о том, что, как им думалось, их дети будут вспоминать потом. Под столом носок ее правой ноги соприкасался с носком его левой. Ароматы жареного гуся и картофеля туманили столовое серебро паром, скрывая его зеркальный блеск. После ужина дети поднимались наверх и она укладывала их в кроватки. За маленьким белым окошком детской садилось солнце; словно алый сигнальный огонь маяка, подрагивающий на зубчатой границе леса и пятнающий облака розовым и лиловым, приглушаемый голубоватым покровом наступающей зимы. Ей нравился свет, бьющий в глаза, и она никогда не отворачивалась.



Она плотно задергивала шторы, заставляя ночь прийти в детскую раньше, так, чтобы она смогла увидеть, как ее дети выглядят в темноте. Темные глаза и дрожащие ресницы, лицо сына теряется в тени. Серые глаза и похожие на осень локоны волос ее дочери. Оба следят за ней с детской сосредоточенностью.



Иногда по вечерам, если было время, они пели, простые песенки на языке, принадлежавшем детству Кристины, который она сама понимала не больше, чем дети - но вспоминала, как их поет невидимый голос ее матери, и слышала вновь в плаче отцовской скрипки. Голоса детей были милее, чем голос матери, живее, чем скрипка отца, нежнее, чем тот, самый красивый голос, из всехкоторые она знала. Когда они пели, они закрывали глаза. Кристина знала, что это она будет помнить всегда, хранить в глубине памяти до того дня, когда они перестанут ей принадлежать. Запечатленные в душе, они станут защитой от искушения лет, когда в минуту печали, она, возможно, произнесет с беспомощной горечью те последние слова, которые и становятся признанием поражения: "Если бы!..."



В ее комнате окно было открыто, белые занавеси колыхались, плескались снаружи на ветру в сгущающихся сумерках, словно свадебная фата в темной воде.



"Иди", - бормотал большой клен у окна, протягивая в мольбе множество своих ладоней.



"Иди ко мне", - шептал сумрак, лаская ее теплые пальцы на подоконнике, дыша безмолвием в ее волосы.



"Пора", - манила луна, застенчиво выглядывая из-за деревьев.



"Кристина...", - пела темнота вдали от сияния домашнего тепла. "Кристина...", - пела ночь.



Тогда ее ноги сами находили стул возле окна и подоконник над ним, а руки находили крохотные крючочки сзади на платье, и расстегивали их, один за другим.



Когда она летела, ее крылья не причиняли ей боли.



"Кристина...", - звал голос воздуха, вздымаясь и опускаясь над ней, взмывая вне досягаемости и тут же внезапно ныряя в бездну внизу. И она стремительно падала вслед за ним, сложив крылья, ветер свистел в ушах и возглас ужаса срывался с губ, когда земля выступала из тени, предвещая конец. Вот уже она могла различить макушку каждого дерева, каждую трубу, белизну каждого ночного цветка в траве. Затем они разворачивались и снова мчались в крещендо вверх, так, что страх превращался в дрожь волнения где-то глубоко в легких, и они поднимались, поднимались, пока вместе не находили поток воздуха, к котором наконец, можно было передохнуть, и парили в нем.



Между ними был жар; меж крыльями и кожей. Жар принадлежал ей, и она охотно им делилась, зная, что дни его совсем не похожи на ее, они холодны. В шелесте громадных черных крыльев было слышно клацанье костей, когтей и перьев, аккомпанирующих его рассказам о землях, которые он повидал. Он рассказывал ей о кобрах, гибких, раскачивающихся перед броском, и о людях, которые могли зачаровать их своей мелодией. Он рассказывал ей об огромных дворцах Востока, где прозрачные вуали почти не скрывали красоты женщин, что, как драгоценные камни, принадлежат чужой роскоши. Он рассказывал об этом, как о чуде, и возражал в ответ на ее смех.



Она рассказывала ему о листьях на земле, похрустывающих от инея, схваченных первым морозцем. Она рассказывала ему о лучах солнца зимой, робко тянущихся к лобику ребенка, превращающих снег вокруг в тысячи разбившихся радуг. Она говорила ему о том, каково это - дышать поцелуем. Он не понимал, и она показывала ему, и тогда ему становилось ясно.



Они покидали медленный поток и набирали скорость, бросаясь в черноту. За лесом, вдали от огней большого города, за первой из рек была глубочайшая ночь. Они ныряли в нее, скользя мимо деревьев, крылья так опасно близки к острым веткам, что вот-вот порвутся в клочья - но всегда в безопасности, всегда вне досягаемости. Ему были знакомы все пути ночи и она без колебаний следовала за ним, двигаясь так же, как и он, в такт взмахивая крыльями, пока ветви не расступались и перед ними не появлялось большое озеро.



Они приземлялись с ним рядом. Лунный свет в воде переливался и покачивался, плескался у берега с галькой. Они стояли в высокой траве, влажной от росы, холодящей ее босые ступни и лодыжки. Когда она ежилась, он начинал петь, укутывая ее музыкой. Тогда она присоединялась, и вместе они взмывали в ласковом потоке, их тела более гибкие, чем у зачарованных змей Востока, крылья прозрачнее, чем изукрашенные драгоценностями вуали желания. Когда песня кончалась, они просто летели, вместе, в тишине лунного сияния и дальнем шепоте ив у озера, как благосклонные духи над землей, дремавшей под их крыльями.



В холодной темной спальне Рауль де Шаньи сидел, не засыпая, на жестком стуле у окна, и наблюдал, как колышутся занавеси - туда-обратно, между светом луны и четырьмя стенами комнаты. Он никогда не закрывал это окно. Не ему было закрывать его.



Он подбирал платье, которое лежало, брошенное, подле стула, выворачивал его, чтобы увидеть на подкладке темные пятна, кровь в тех местах, где находились ее лопатки. Пятна накладывались друг на друга, новые поверх старых, более ранние уже выцвели до бурого. Новые были лиловыми, почти красивыми в темноте. Рауль поднимал платье с пола и подбирал перо, которое выпадало из него, черное перо, словно обмакнутое в чернила.



Он какое-то время лежал в постели с открытыми глазами, полог кровати отдернут, так, чтобы было видно окно. Он клал найденное перо возле щеки, на пустую подушку рядом с собой, и вдыхал аромат кожи Кристины, дышал им, пока его грудь не начинала болеть от полноты. Он подносил кончик пера к губам и слизывал с него вкус ее крови, единственную каплю, до самого утра.



Иногда он просыпался в предрассветные часы, замерзший и дрожащий, боясь, что закрыл окно сам, или его закрыли слуги, или ветер захлопнул створки. Тогда он спешил в комнату Кристины с колотящимся сердцем - только для того, чтобы найти окно открытым - как всегда. Белые занавеси плавно покачиваются. Все спокойно. Он возвращался в свою комнату и беспокойно спал до рассвета, видя сны о черных крыльях, бьющихся в затворенное окно, о лиловых, прекрасных пятнах на стекле.



В иные ночи он просыпался нездоровым, в жару и поту и думал, что это лихорадка крыльев, как у Кристины. Он вскакивал с постели, одно за другим стягивая с себя ночные одеяния, отчаянно стараясь добраться до зеркала. Но его спину никогда не сводила судорога, не было видно ни синяков, ни порезов; ни единого признака окровавленных бутонов крыльев, растущих из его тела, дабы он мог воссоединиться с Кристиной. Только старые шрамы, оставшиеся с тех пор, когда они были детьми и Кристина пыталась помочь его крыльям прорезаться, пользуясь его перочинным ножиком, не зная, что они не вырастут. Он снова надевал свою влажную рубашку и забирался обратно в постель, и вместо этого видел сны о закрытом окне.



Окно бывало открыто настежь, когда Кристина шагала внутрь, и платье ее лежало аккуратно сложенным на стуле. Она надевала его, улыбаясь, пока втискивала крылья под корсаж, пока тьма отступала за ее болевшей спиной, и бледный свет синевой околдовывал горизонт. Птицы плакали, как плакала и она, потому что кончилась ночь. Пришел новый день, и скоро птицы запоют. Этого достаточно для счастья.



Она торопливо оборачивалась, и лучи восходящего солнца били в глаза. Она улыбалась.



Ее день начинался спустя минуту после восхода солнца. Она целовала мужа.

@настроение: elated

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Meta-fic

Interesting thread on the XOC board about Robin Hobb, fanfic writers and the associated legalities.



Thinking: I am writing a fanfic based on a film, which is based on a musical, which is based on another musical, which is based on a novel... And the novel itself is purportedly based on urban legends and possibly on other novels (the many, many similarities with various Gothic tales and even "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", a classic at the time Leroux was writing his "Phantom", do not strike me as coincidents). Maybe ultimately, everything is a little bit derivative...

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V for Vendetta

Overall: Not too bad. Very pretty, good music, excellent acting, lots of rip-offs (...errr... tributes). Occasional interesting message.

Spoilers Be Here (including some "Phantom" thoughts)

Emotional content: Lifted wholesale from "Phantom of the Opera", complete with roses, a smashed mirror, and our innocent female lead waking up to music and finding herself in the midst of an art-filled underground lair in the company of a masked man. A masked killer to be precise, who -- wait for it -- likes classical music. One novelty, in the sense of it not being stolen from somewhere else (at least not that I could identify) was V's simulacrum of the government's prison compound -- yikes. How lucky that Evey is such a forgiving girl, with such a strong psyche. A lesser mortal would have put a fist through his mask, at least. The remaining apparently "original" emotional stuff with the imprisoned lesbian actress and her roses was too hokey to count as emotional content and belongs under the next category:



Obligatory Fashionable Hollywoodisms: movie made from a comic book - check; villain with bad teeth - check; the female in a group of evildoers being the only one to repent her sins - check (only men are truly evil, you see); hurt child - check (80,000 of them in fact); lesbian kisses - check (fewer than 80,000 but making up for it with the most saccharine backstory I've ever heard); scenes of murder that have lots of blood but somehow no actual injuries - check, check, and check again.



Occasional Interesting Message: Present, sort of. At least there was no black and white resolution in the sense that the masked crowd looked more than a little sinister, and the scenes of the Parliament House being blown up were clearly intended to echo the World Trade Centre bombings. (Nice reference to bird flu, too). So basically, violence is violence and what differentiates one violent act from another is the cause -- who decides what is the right cause is of course a thornier question. One thing I did find interesting was the story of how the bad guys came to power, riding on a wave of terror they themselves had instigated. Sadly, all too realistic and applicable to real life events all over the world.



Roses: Where the heck did they come from? Aside from them being another, uh, homage to Phantom, where did they physically come from? What, V grew them in his underground lair?



Random thought: I'm curious whether the "Phantom" fandom is going to hold up Evey as an example to Christine, because Evey didn't remove the mask. Of course, Evey already knew that she wouldn't find anything pretty underneath, having seen his hands and heard the fire story. Moreover, unlike Erik, V did not seem to have any deep-seated need for someone to look at his face as it was, so the whole point is moot. However, I don't think that will stop the Christine-bashers. I am fully expecting Natalie Portman to become fandom favourite for "The Next Christine".



Another random thought: Hugo Weaving continues to impress me. I loved him in "Little Fish", and that role (an ageing ex-footballer with a heroin addiction and a broken heart) could not have been more different from this one. He was perfect in both, which fills me with the deepest respect for his range and ability. Natalie Portman was also good, especially in the prison scenes. As a side note, one of the best supporting roles was actors was Stephen Rea as Finch, the detective who comes to question the establishment and eventually allows Evey to carry out V's plans. Very believable, and even somehow not as cliche as the role could have been.



On the whole, I quite enjoyed it, for all my grumbling, but I wouldn't say it's going to find its way to the shortlist of my favourites any time in the future.

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Love thy characters

Partly inspired by meditations on "happy ends", and partly by some of my recent reading...

I really can't stand books/stories where the author doesn't love the characters.

I really can't stand books/stories where the author doesn't love the characters. That is, where the primary purpose in writing the text is to convey an agenda, rather than tell a story about people whom the author cares about. In novels, such an agenda may be something like "the filthy lives of these characters reveal the hypocrisy of the bourgeoisie". In fanfic, it might be character-bashing revenge fic ("she rejected him in the canon, now she must suffer!"). In both novels and fanfic, this can also happen when the author falls in love with their plot/twist/idea/symbolism, to the point where the characters no longer matter as personalities.



Writing with an agenda is not the same as writing with a purpose. There is undeniably a point being made in a novel like "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", for instance -- namely, that it is an unfortunate aspect of human nature to identify beauty with virtue. But Hugo never allows his characters to become puppets used to illustrate his concepts; he appears to give them free will, and writes them in a way that makes the reader empathise with them. You get the impression that the writer himself cares about them. By contrast, in novels like Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale" (which I ranted about years ago at the start of this diary), what really matters to the writer is her own oh-so-brilliant plot and the moral of her story. The characters are mostly puppets. The author doesn't seem to care about them, and neither do I.



This applies to everything from romance to horror. If the characters are not alive to the author, they will not be alive to the reader. Nobody will care if they are made to kiss, or to explode with gobbets of flesh dripping off the walls; the only emotion you can provoke in a reader that way is disgust or cynical amusement. If you want to make the reader care about what happens to the characters you need to care about them yourself.



This doesn't mean that you shield them from all conflict and kill the drama, or that everything you write should have a happy end. I think a writer has to love their characters independently of the plot. That is, you don't design the plot based on how much you like your characters ("let's give this guy a happy end, he deserves it!") but based on what is interesting, coherent and logical. Then, and only then, can you fall in love with the characters to your heart's content and suffer/rejoice with them.



So. That's today's rant.

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Happy Ends

What is it about an ending of a story that makes it "happy"? I've been thinking about this for years, but particularly after spending some time hovering on the fringes of the "Phantom of the Opera" fandom. (Now, when I am supposed to be writing about fungal pathogens of plants, strikes me as the perfect time to put some of those musings to paper/website. )

Click for essay/rant

Obviously there is the traditional romantic happy end, where our heroes work through their problems, resolve their differences, forgive, forget, defeat the bad guys, and live happily ever after -- circle where applicable.



This is not what I am talking about. I mean a happy ending in general, where you read a book or watch a film and come away feeling (1) satisfied and (2) positive about the way things turned out. These are two separate things. Feeling satisfied doesn't mean that the ending was happy -- it just means that it feels like the only possible, "correct", resolution of the story. Feeling happy goes beyond that. It is dependent on how many characters get what they want, and how deeply we care about those characters.



In general, I place a lot more weight on an ending being satisfactory than happy. I want to feel that the story has been brought to a logical full-stop, the main themes have been resolved well, and I can go away and think about it. I remember a lot of friends being disappointed by the ending of Robin Hobb's "Farseer" trilogy, because the main hero is basically a washed-up cripple by the end, even though he has managed to save the world. To me, this was a perfectly satisfactory, logical ending, and while I felt sad for Fitz, I didn't have a burning desire to "give him a happy end". (Sadly, Robin Hobb did, resulting in a second trilogy that gave Fitz a "happy end" I absolutely hated, because it was illogical and meaningless.)



In exactly the same way, a lot of "Phantom" fans hate the ending because the Phantom/Erik doesn't get the girl. They hate it because they are invested in the character and his relationship with Christine, and this investment is not paid off at the end. Personally, I loved the ending because my "emotional hook" was not so much whether Erik would get the girl but whether he will be able to change and achieve something like redemption. An ending where Christine chooses the Phantom (despite all his crimes) would have made absolutely no sense to me. It would be barking up the wrong tree: a story about redemption should have an ending about redemption. Obviously, to a fan for whom this is a story about romance, the ending should be about romantic fulfillment. (And there is nothing wrong with that, because the reading of any text is fundamentally subjective). This is not to say that I have any objections to the Phantom getting the girl, but that would be a whole different story, with a different purpose.



An example of an ending that was supposed to be tragic but was actually ridiculous would be the finale of "Xena". True, the show was about being burdened by past misdeeds, but it was not about dwelling on this: it was about going out there and doing good things to make up for the past. When they killed Xena off at the end and called it "redemption" (because she died to save 40,000 souls), I felt cheated. I did not feel that she needed to die to redeem herself (that's pretty drastic in any case, like using a guilliotine to get rid of a headache!). Happy or tragic doesn't come into it: this is the classic example of an unsatisfactory ending, because it resolved the wrong theme.



For a text to have a truly happy end, it first has to make you sympathise intensely with a character, a relationship or a theme, until you feel that it is yours, that it matters. And you wait with bated breath for the end because you have put a piece of yourself into the story (become invested in it) and it is as though it is happening to you on some level. Not to you personally, but to the part of you that you have made vulnerable. The text has you in its grip, and it can either make things end well, or dash your head against the rocks. The latter case is not a tragic ending; it's a depressing one. It hurts because you have risked yourself and lost.



And this brings me to one of the few films where I see a true "happy end" -- "Dear Frankie". To me, it is a story about people who have been hurt so badly in the past that they have put away their most precious dreams, secreting them somewhere they hardly dare to look at. But those dreams still exist. The main theme of the story, the thing that needs "resolving" is the gradual erosion of the protective walls that these people have built around themselves. The intense satisfaction of the conclusion is that they are at last completely vulnerable; and because these walls were the only thing that ever stood between them, the implication is that from now on, there will be happiness. It may not be perfect or immediate, but it will be wonderful. It is as magical as the arrival of the ship with crimson sails in Alexander Grin's story: the fulfillment of the secret, unspoken, seemingly-impossible wish.



To end this over-long rant: most stories don't absolutely need a happy end, but all stories need a logical one. However, there are times when the only logical end is a happy one, and the main resolution is not just satisfying but positive. Those are the true happy ends. And they are very, very rare.

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Equal-opportunity swooning: Female actors list

The high-IQ posting continues with the second instalment in the Actors List saga. After all, why single out the men?



Some of my favourite actresses, in no particular order, but the ones who can make me swoon are in bold.

List of Female Actors

1. Juliette Binoche

2. Sophie Marceau

3. Lelee Sobieski

4. Julie Andrews

5. Lucy Lawless

6. Miranda Richardson

7. Catherine Deneuve

8. Michelle Yeoh

9. Emma Thompson

10. Susan Sarandon

11. Bette Midler

12. Simone Signoret

13. Reese Witherspoon

14. Ziyi Zhang

15. Annie Girardot

16. Barbra Streisand

17. Sigourney Weaver

18. Jodie Foster

19. Kate Winslet

20. Alessandra Martines

21. Hudson Leick

22. Jacqueline Kim

23. Julia Roberts (...at times...)

24. Emmy Rossum (one role counts )

25. Jennifer Ehle (ditto )

26. Maggie Smith

27. Whoopi Goldberg

28. Cate Blanchett

29. Emily Mortimer

30. Minnie Driver



And as an Extra Super Bonus:

Three Actresses I can't Stand

Three Actresses I can't Stand:

Gwyneth Paltrow

Nicole Kidman (unless she is playing a maniac )

Renee Zellweger

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Actors list - pinched from Elena

It occurred to me that I don't know all that many actors, especially male ones, and whenever the subject of "casting" a book comes up, I have no names to suggest. So I'm pinching this list from Elena for reference, and while I'm at it, I'm going to play along.



Rues:

1. Bold = hot

2. Italic = not bad

3. Plain = indifferent, or don't know

4. Strikethrough = no way

5. ADD ONE FAVOURITE ACTOR AT THE END

List Of Male Actors

1. Stephen Dorff

2. Wesley Snipes

3. Denzel Washington

4. Samuel L. Jackson

5. Hayden Christensen

6. Ian Somerhalder

7. James Van Der Beek

8. Ashton Kutcher

9. Sean William Scott

10. The Rock

11. Brendan Fraser

12. Oded Fehr

13. John Hannah

14. Hugh Grant

15. Colin Firth

16. Liam Neeson

17. Daniel Day-Lewis

18. Leonardo Di Caprio

19. Billy Zane

20. Harry Connick Jr

21. Sean Astin

22. Dominic Monaghan

23. Karl Urban (At least as Caesar in "Xena")

24. Vin Diesel

25. Paul Walker

26. Joshua Jackson

27. James Marsden

28. Shawn Ashmore

29. Hugh Jackman

30. Will Kemp

31. David Wenham

32. Viggo Mortensen

33. Elijah Wood

34. Tobey Maguire

35. James Franco

36. Alfred Molina

37. Harrison Ford

38. Sean Connery

39. Shane West

40. Stuart Townsend

41. Richard Roxburgh

42. Ewan McGregor

43. Jonathan Rhys Meyers

44. Christian Bale

45. Jared Leto

46. Colin Farrell

47. Ben Affleck

48. Josh Hartnett

49. Bruce Willis

50. Billy Bob Thornton

51. Dennis Quaid

52. Jake Gyllenhaal

53. Patrick Swayze

54. Keanu Reeves

55. Gary Oldman

56. Tim Roth

57. Steve Buscemi

58. Michael Madsen

59. Rick Yune

60. Pierce Brosnan

61. Robert Carlyle

62. Jonny Lee Miller

63. Jude Law

64. Matt Damon

65. Clive Owen

66. Ryan Phillippe

67. Benicio Del Toro

68. Johnny Depp

69. Orlando Bloom

70. Sean Bean

71. Eric Bana (Okay, being Australian I still think of him as the guy from the comedy show "Full Frontal", but I have to admit he was great in "Munich")

72. Brad Pitt

73. George Clooney

74. Mark Wahlberg

75. Jason Statham

76. Edward Norton

77. Ben Stiller

78. Owen Wilson

79. Vince Vaughn

80. Joaquin Phoenix

81. Russell Crowe

82. Billy Boyd

83. Paul Bettany

84. Heath Ledger

85 Mel Gibson

86. Jason Isaacs

87. Alan Rickman

88. Kevin Costner

89. Christian Slater

90. Antonio Banderas

91. Tom Cruise

92. Ving Rhames

93. John Cusack

94. John Malkovich

95. Charlie Sheen

96. Kiefer Sutherland

97. Emilio Estevez

98. Rob Lowe

99. Matt Dillon

100. Kevin Bacon

101. Adam Brody

102. Andy Serkis

103. Alan Cumming

104. Josh Groban

105. Sean Biggerstaff (don't know who he is, but what a name!)

106. Zach Braff

107. Harry Sinclair

108. Gerard Butler

109. Marton Csokas (Borias on "Xena". 'Nuff said.)

110. Jeremy Sumpter

111. Sean Patrick Flanery

112. Cillian Murphy

113. Hugh Dancy

114. Ioan Gruffudd

115. Mads Mikkelsen

116. Enrique Murciano

117. Jamie Bamber

118. Craig Parker

119. Dean Cain (I was a fan at the age of 15, so more for old times' sake)

120. James Marsters

121. David Boreanaz

122. James Spader

123. Kevin Spacey

124. Al Pacino

125. Jim Caviezel

126. Josh Holloway

127. Will Smith

128. Matthew McConaughey

129. Patrick Wilson (Raoul. My walk on the tame side. )

130. Milo Ventimiglia

131. Jason Dohring

132. Brandon Boyd

133. Tom Welling

134. Sean Maher

135. TrЁ¦ Cool

136. Billie Joe Armstrong

137. Mike Dirnt

138. Adrienne Armstrong

139. Jason White

140. Matthew Fox

141. Peter Sarsgaard

142. Derek Jeter

143. Travis Fimmel

144. Michael Vartan

145. Josh Lucas

146. Adrian Paul

147. Chris Noth

148. Marcus Schenkenberg

149. Sven Weber (Pellaz)

150. Chris Cornell

151. Adrien Brody

152. Dan Balan

153. Robert de Niro

154. Daniel Lavoie

155. Anthony Hopkins

156. Kevin Smith ("Ares") - sadly no longer alive...



But why stop at one addition?

Extra Bonus Actors List

Extra Bonus Actors List

- Gerard Depardieu (HOW could he not be in the list?)

- Dustin Hoffman

- Jeremy Irons

- Matthew MacFayden (especially for Lyndal )

- Anthony Warlow (more a singer than actor, but hey, Lavoie is there)

- Gerard Philippe (who said they had to be alive?)

- Hugo Weaving

- Sam Neill

- Rupert Everett

- Ted Danson

- Robin Williams

- Richard Gere

- Ciaran Hinds

- Tom Hanks

- Simon Callow

- Willem Dafoe

- Jim Carrey

- Nicholas Cage

- Jean-Paul Rouve

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The locked post below is a photo; should be open to my friends list. Nothing exciting.

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Закрытая запись, не предназначенная для публичного просмотра