One of my pet budgies...

... died. The yellow one, Tortilla. We were stupid enough to leave a dish full of water to soak in the sink, and Tortilla must have fallen in. There was oily water all over the kitchen, and tiny feathers.







Tango

---

Seen in traffic: a Mercedes stopped at a red light. The middle-aged male driver in a smart business suit gets out a pair of tweezers, adjusts the mirror -- and proceeds to fix his eyebrows.

---

Moth... Flame... Moth... Flame...

There is currently an art challenge on a Xena board where I hang out, prompted by a comment that Xena and Ares were "like a moth to a flame". The obvious question was who is the moth and who is the flame -- and the rather obvious answer was both. So the challenge was to create a montage/collage/artwork on this topic.



However, on the way to the visual centre of my brain, this challenge took an unexpected detour -- and so I came up with a poem. A very short, delibereately simplistic one, but I confess I enjoyed it. Actually, I enjoyed it perhaps a little too much, because in a fit of masochism, I decided to try translating it into Russian.



It sure ain't Shakespeare, but hey, there's a reason I keep this diary in English. Anyway, you be the judge. Feel free to point out any grammatical errors.



The original:



THE MOTH AND THE FLAME



Like a flame to a moth,

Like a moth to a flame,

I call you to my light,

You call me to your games;

And the harder the struggle,

The sweeter the call,

And the further the ground,

The longer we fall --

Yet we fly. And the sparks

That rise orange and red,

Turn to stars the scorched dust

From the wings that we shed.





The translation:





Мотылёк и пламя



Как к свече мотылёк,

Как свеча к мотыльку...

Ты зовёшь меня танцем,

Я светом зову.

Чем сильнее борьба,

Тем и зов тот нежней,

И чем дальше земля,

Тем паденье страшней --

Но летим. И как звёзды

Искрится, как пламя,

Золотая пыльца

С крыльев, сброшенных нами.





Tango

---

The King and I -- or rather, The Prince and another Aussie girl

For those of us sorely in need of a piece of happy news for a change...



The biggest story in Australia this week is the wedding of a Tasmanian girl, Mary Donaldson, to the Crown Prince of Denmark, Prince Frederik. This is going to be the first Australian-born member of any royal family (not counting another Tasmanian woman who married a member of Russian nobility in exile in 1926), and everyone is quite taken with it. Of course, Australians are generally quite fond of anything that makes the world remember we exist.



For the past week, they've been showing crowds in Copenhagen waving Danish and Aussie flags, and it looks like the local backpackers are making a buck selling the obligatory fluffy koalas.



My absolute favourite moment was when the Australian government sent some pine trees as a gift to Denmark: a reporter asked a few Danes on the streets of Copenhagen what they thought of the present. "Is it a bit cheap?" An elderly Danish man gave a gentle smile and shook his head, -- "No, no. It lasts." ...I wanted to applaud.



Oh, and the girl isn't a model or some kind of other "handbag" -- she has a decent education, a law degree, etc, which is kind of nice.



They had a live telecast last night, and today they are showing highlights from the ceremony. The wedding was beautiful -- horsedrawn carriage and all. The girl did wonderfully. Poised, graceful, lovely. The dress was simple and elegant, nothing ostentatious, and the same is true of the whole affair, considering it's a royal wedding and all. Very classy without being pompous.



If anyone is interested, the story is here.





========================



Danes eagerly await royal wedding

May 14, 2004 - 10:05AM



Denmark's Crown Prince Frederik was to marry Australian commoner Mary Donaldson in Copenhagen in an eagerly-awaited ceremony that for the first time welcomes an Aussie into one of Europe's royal families.



The wedding between Frederik, 35, and Donaldson, 32, is scheduled to take place at the Evangelical-Lutheran cathedral Vor Frue Kirke in Copenhagen amid heavy security in a capital that has been decked out in finery for days.



Among the guests expected to attend the ceremony are several heads of state and a long line of royals, including the royal families of neighbouring Norway and Sweden, Japanese Crown Prince Naruhito, Spanish Crown Prince Felipe and Prince Edward of England.



Frederik, the heir to Europe's oldest monarchy, met his bride-to-be in September 2000 while in town for the Olympics.



Donaldson, who with her elegant good looks has been a hit with Danes since she moved to Denmark, will not only be the first Australian ever to join one of Europe's royal families; she could also become the first Aussie to mount a European throne as queen.



More than 80 per cent of Danes polled last week said they thought the Australian lawyer-turned-real estate agent would make a good crown princess.



Following the wedding ceremony, the happy couple will be taken in a horse-drawn carriage in a formal procession through the streets of Copenhagen, cheered on by as many as one million onlookers, according to police estimates.



The procession will end at the Amalienborg palace, the Danish royal family's main residence, and then on to Fredensborg palace, Frederik and Mary's new home, for the wedding party.



Approximately 400 wedding guests will partake in the nuptial celebrations, which are expected to conclude with a huge fireworks display just after midnight.



On Thursday, parliamentarians presented the couple with a dining room table and chairs as a wedding gift.



Addressing Mary, speaker of parliament Christian Mejdahl said: "If you'll allow me, there is something Viking about you, Miss Donaldson.



"You have shown great equinimity in the face of the ever-growing interest in you, which you have at times felt was too personal. You have proven that you can keep your cool. It must be your Scottish roots", a reference to Mary's Scottish parents who emigrated to Australia.



----------



You can also see a pic and read some more here.



Tango

---

Random acts of kindness

A tiny thoughtful act is all it takes to brighten up someone's day. I got back to my office after a lot of running around at work, and found a little packet of nibblies (dried fruit and nuts) on my desk, and another one on a colleague's desk. Turned out the other guy in our little group bought them when he was getting his lunch. Why? "I thought you guys might be hungry."



Tango

---

Avatar change

Nope, this isn't me in the new picture (see comment). That's Lucy Lawless, aka Xena, aka the person in my previous avatar pic (below). Hard to believe, isn't it?



The old avatar pic is here because I'm quite pleased with how it turned out, so I may go back to it when I'm in the mood.

---

"Sleepless in Seattle"

Why, oh why, do they insist on showing this movie at least once a year on every TV channel? What is so wonderful about it? Why does it get five-star reviews in the TV guide? What makes it a "romance"?



I just don't get it. What's the attraction of a story about an appallingly self-absorbed nitwit of a woman who is in love with the idea of being in love, who treats the man who loves her abysmally, and who, having found a suitable subject for the starring role of Prince Charming in her fantasy, proceeds to imagine that she is in love with him?



Or is it, perhaps, the story of a man who, having lost the woman he loved, wants to isolate that love, extract it and purify it and experience it again, quite divorced from the person who encouraged those feelings in the first place?



Yeeeeeech. There are some funny lines in this film, true, but it gives me the creeps. True love isn't some kind of drug, to be purified of any human involvement, bleached of any negative feelings, powdered into a complete abstraction, and taken for a "hit" in a prescribed dose.



Love is not a concept or an ideal. It's the emergent property of the characters of two people and their interaction. It simply can't be abstract. It's intensely personal, private, and completely incomprehensible to outsiders; and sometimes it's not all sweetness and light. It's not about some generic Prince Charming, and it's not about Mr. "He's my type" or Miss "Perfect in every way".



There is no "love" as an idea. There is only that feeling you get when you look at that person and your heart feels full to bursting, and you know that you could shut your eyes, or walk away, and you would still feel it. That you understand this person so well that it's not even about liking their personality or finding them attractive: you just know them so deeply that they are a part of you, in the way your limbs are a part of you.



There can never be love between people who don't know each other, although there can be attraction, of course, sexual or otherwise. When you say you love someone, it's always that particular person -- and you never love two people in exactly the same way, because no two people are the same.



This is why I have always hated dull insipid "romances" like "Sleepless in Seattle". They strive to generalise where there can be no generalities. They rob the most beautiful and frightening and dangerous feeling in the world of its sharp contours and its individuality; they draw its claws and airbrush it into something bland and cold. The lowest common denominator.



This movie's "love" is to real love what the photo of a porn star is to a real woman.

---

Overheard in my Israeli dance class

The teacher's young daughter is collecting ticket money at the front door. The lady in front of me, in a friendly voice to the little girl: "Ma nishma?"



The girl, with the embarrassed smile of second-generation migrant children everywhere: "I'm good, thank you."



Yep. We all talk that way.





Tango

---

Books

Shamelessly lifted from Dolly's diary, though the translation at least is mine. As are the answers, obviously.



1. First book you read yourself:

Absolutely no idea. I should ask my parents. The first one I remember reading was "Зайчишка-Пушишка" ("Fluffy the Bunny"??). There was a very sad picture of a little bit of fluff from the bunny's tail left on fence, after he jumped over it.



2. First book you had read to you:

Fairy tales.



3. Most re-read book:

"Master and Margarita", closely followed by "Threshold" by Sara Douglass. But generally, I'm not a rereader, I prefer new stories.



4. Last book you read:

"Only Forward" by Michael Marshall Smith



5. Book that you had the hardest time finding:

A rather obscure biography of "The Beatles", when I was 10.



6. One you'd like to read or reread in the near future:

I keep meaning to reread Anne McCaffrey's "Crystal Singers" trilogy, but I doubt I'll get around to it. I've tried rereading it before and grown bored, but for some reason I keep trying. Maybe I just want to capture the feel of reading it for the first time.



7. One that touched you most deeply:

Not exactly a book, but... Andersen's "The Little Mermaid".



8. One for which you'd pay any price:

Umm... Maybe I'm cheap, but I can't think of any book worth all my life's savings.



9. Least favourite book:

Orson Scott Card's "Ender's Game" and its sequels. Bleeeeech.



10. A book you'd never read:

Why not? Never is a long time.



11. One that gave you the most food for thought:

"The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand. I think I may have possibly composed half a PhD thesis on why I don't agree with 70% of what she advocates, along with why I think her writing style is one of the finest I have ever encountered. Any book that can make the reader do this must be very good indeed.



12. A book you read before you were ready for it:

Can't think of one.



13. A book which had the greatest influence on how you see yourself and the world:

Non-fiction: Carl Sagan's "The Demon-Haunted World". A brilliant and impassioned argument for scientific thought.



14. A book to which you would like to compose a soundtrack:

I'm not really a soundtrack person -- I'd find it easier to compose a story to go with music. But... I suppose Robin Hobb's "Farseer" trilogy.



15. A book where you'd like to be one of the characters:

I'd rather be myself.



16. A book you would like to discuss with the author, if you could

The only time I've actually really wanted to do this was after I first read "Threshold" -- and luckily for me, the author was quite happy to discuss it (long live the internet).



17. A story where you wish you could interfere and change what happens:

Can't think of one. I'm a passive reader, I don't like to get involved. If the author is good, they will make me feel that everything happens exactly as it should, even if it is painful.



18. Book that most closely resembles your own life:

Definitely not a book, but there is a great parody of "Lord of the Rings" from the point of view of a PhD student. Oh how true it is... You can read it here.



19. The book that made you laugh the most:

Anything by Terry Pratchett.



20. The book that made you cry the most:

"Here Comes The Messiah..." by Dina Rubina. Not because it's depressing, but just to release the buildup of emotion. I cried for two hours solid after I finished it.



21. One you would never part with:

"The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.



22. One that contains your favourite quote or phrase:

See above, the phrase being "You are always responsible for those you have tamed."



23. A book you no longer like:

Since I don't tend to re-read books, they rarely reach this point for me -- though I'm quite sure that I would no longer like many of the books I enjoyed as a kid. I'd hazard a guess and say "Uncle Tom's Cabin".



24. A book you may one day grow to appreciate:

Hugo's "Les Miserables". After a promising first half, the second deteriorated rapidly into mind-numbing boredom. But maybe, one day...



25. A book that gives you a sense of hope and joy:

This is really difficult, because first of all this really depends on my mood, and secondly, I don't reread books. Actually the only thing I can think of that fits this question perfectly is Nancy Lorenz's "The Band" -- a fanfiction uber (set in modern times) that gives Xena and Ares (along with a few others) a new life. I'd say it qualifies here, seeing as it's the size of a good novel.



26. The book you found most difficult to read:

Nabokov's "Lolita", because inhabiting the mind of the protagonist is a profoundly disturbing experience.



27. A book you would be prepared to learn by heart:

Pushkin's "Ruslan And Lyudmila". Actually, I did know it off by heart many years ago -- now I only remember chunks.



28. The book you would save if all others were burned:

"Farenheit 451"



29. A book that reminds you of your childhood

"Конек-Горбунок" ("The Little Humpback Horse". Especially with the old colour illustrations!









Tango

---

Political Correctness

This has to be preserved for posterity. *shakes head* I found a stack of printouts in the corner of the hall during my last dance class -- evidently left behind from some school's rehearsal. An object lesson in why political correctness taken to its ultimate conclusion is a peculiarly modern form of torturing children. What on earth does this collection of nonsense mean? And how, pray tell, does one actually sing it??





REDDAM HOUSE SCHOOL SONG



We are free to be ourselves

And respect each other equally

Innovation nurtured all the way.



We share a common dream,

To be whoever we want to be,

Independent pride in who we are.



(Chorus)

Enriching each other's lives

Inspiring each other's minds

We shall give back

We shall give back



Unique in who we are

We challenge each other constantly

Succeeding in our life

Because we care

Positive we are



Initiate what we can be

Standing proud

This is the Reddam way.

Chorus x 2





I would give much to know why these poor kiddies need to respect each other equally (what's wrong with respecting a nice kid more than a bully?) and what the hell "initiate what we can be" is all about. If I were a kid given this sheet of, uh, lyrics, "give back" is exactly what I would be doing with it.



Tango

---

Paparazzi

There is something very strange about trying to take photos around other people, especially at night. Leaning out of the bus to take a quick snap of a shop seemed like a harmless enough idea, until the flash went off. Cue a dozen confused Sydneysiders glaring at Tango. (And the photo didn't work anyway...)



This is why, in deference to people's sense of privacy, I present to you the completely people free "last bus from the city", and the equally people-free "frangipani at night". See comments.



Tango

---

Following on from the previous post..

Good old eBay -- is there nothing it doesn't sell? And here I was hoping to find out more about the fate of the Judean slaves in Rome.



Hmmmmmm...

---

Remembering Rome

Under the influence of the current political situation and the book I just finished reading ("The Silver Pigs" by Lindsey Davis - a detective story set in ancient Rome), I remembered my short trip to Rome in 1999/2000 with the obligatory visit to the Forum Romanum.

More particularly, I remembered the Arch of Titus.



I had come to Rome via Vienna -- definitely a bad idea, plunging from calm rational streets into the seething chaos that Rome seemed to me from the moment I found myself in the gloomy noisy train station. There were people on the roads and cars on the pavements; traffic lights seemed to exist either as polite suggestions or decorative features; the sheer number of motor scooters meant that crossing the street was a feat accomplished only by attaching myself to the nearest local resident and running alongside as they dodged the traffic. (This is best done by keeping them between yourself and the insane motorists: if the inevitable happens, they go down first. )



After the chaos of Roman streets and the pickpockets of the Vatican (I just managed to catch my wallet in time), the tourist attraction of the Forum was a welcome relief. At least no one was yelling. Actually the place was all but deserted. (This could have been because it was late in the day, it was winter, and a fine drizzle was steadily turning into serious rain.) At any rate, I was at the Forum.



I knew nothing about it at the time, except that a collection of ruins from various periods were all jumbled together and excavated all the way down to the street level in the time of Augustus Caesar. In my casual wanders, I came upon something that looked relatively well-preserved for once: a triumphal arch, beautiful in the setting sun. The Arch of Titus. The inscription informed me that this impressive edifice was erected to celebrate (posthumously) the crushing of the Judean revolt in the year 70CE by the Emperor Titus, and the capture and destruction of Jerusalem.



I stood there and looked at it for a very long time. Nearly 2000 years earlier, there had been a triumphal parade here, showcasing the treasures plundered from the Temple of Jerusalem before it was destroyed: the great Menorah and the silver trumpets, the solid gold table for sacrificial bread and various decorations and treasures, even the goldleaf stripped from the temple doors -- and of course, the Jewish slaves who later built the Colosseum.



And I thought, here I am. Two thousand years from the day when Rome celebrated the destruction of Jerusalem, here I stand, a Jew, admiring what is left of the bas relief on the Arch of Titus. "The Senate and the People of Rome dedicate..."



I am here. Where are they?

---

Rainbow Lorikeets

The tree outside my window is full of birds today: so far I've seen wrens, some kind of native honey-eater and rainbow lorikeets (a type of parrot). Here are some pics of the lorikeets.

---

Purim

Tango goes traditional. Yum.

---

Make a snowflake

Very holiday-like....



http://snowflakes.lookandfeel.com

---

Site Update

I still can't quite believe it, but there it is... "Fortuna's Champion", the story I have worked on for several years (!) is now officially complete. :2jump: :2jump:



I've put it up on my own site here: www.angelfire.com/poetry/tango and it is also available at Fanfic.net, here: www.fanfiction.net/~tango1 . It is technically a sequel to Book I of "The Outsiders", Eternity Broken, but it's a separate story that can just as easily stand alone.



Looking back on the process of writing it, I have to say that there were times when I heartily wished that this story would just go away. "Fortuna's Champion" survived two complete rewrites, one of which was prompted by comments from two perceptive people, Dixie and Juxian, who helped me to see that Ares' character needed work. Of course that meant some plot reshuffling and a great deal of agonising over scenes I just couldn't bring myself to cut -- but as Carl Sagan remarked about science, the greatest mistake is to fall in love with your own idea, no matter how attractive it is. So -- out went those scenes, and in came new ones.



So far it seems to have been well received, which is heartening -- it's a good feeling to know that I've actually managed to complete something this big (for me)!

---

Questions for Hellga. (In English, if you don't mind -- if you like I can translate them).



1. What language(s) do you wish you could speak?



2. Favourite place in the world?



3. Do you personalise the colour scheme on your computer?



4. First extracurricular activity you took in school?



5. A song you can't stand so much that makes you change the radio station?







Tango

---

Post in Russian...

Yeah, yeah, I said I was going to keep this in English, but... rules are made to be broken. So this post is in Russian; if anyone wants an English tranlsation, leave a comment (by clicking on the link at the bottom right corner of this post).



Эти пять вопросов мне задала Hellga.



1. Почему именно русский (язык)?



В смысле, почему я именно русский язык каверкаю? Просто получилось так -- сейчас в это трудно поверить, но 11 лет назад я была москвичкой. А теперь я по-русски практически не говорю, к сожалению.



2. Рассказ или роман? (В смысле, "малая проза" или "большая"?)



Если читать, то роман -- или повесть, по крайней мере. Рассказом не успеваешь зачитаться. И тем не менее, писать я предпочитаю именно рассказы, так как на повесть моего терпения обычно не хватает.



3. Любимая пьеса и любимый драматург?



Пьеса -- "Rozencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead". Драматург? Не знаю, честно говоря... Может быть David Williamson.



4. Самая "дурная", на твой взгляд, привычка.



Реагировать на обиду угрюмым молчанием. Терпеть не могу. Лучше уж кричать и скандалить -- по-крайней мере, ясно в чем дело.



5 Легко ли тебе идти на компромисы? (с собой или с другими)



Увы, нет. Но стараюсь.





Спасибо за вопросы -- ответный залп будет завтра!



Tango

---

The "Five Questions" Game

The original instructions for this game are in Russian, but since I'm determined to continue this diary in English, I'm translating them here.



If you would like to participate:

1. Leave a comment to say that you would like me to ask you five questions.

2. I will ask you five questions.

3. You then post the questions and your answers in your own diary (I will read the answers, no matter what you write).

4. You'll include these instructions with your answers.

5. You'll ask other people five questions if they so wish.



These five questions came from Juxian:



1. Your favorite poem?



I don't have a permanent favourite, it varies with my mood and reading material. Some of my all-time favourites include "Birth of a Wing" (Rozhdenie Kryla) by Yunna Moritz, and "A Dream, After Reading Dante's Episode of Paolo and Francesca" by Keats. Here is "РОЖДЕНИЕ КРЫЛА" (in Russian, obviously):



Все тело с ночи лихорадило,

Температура - сорок два.

А наверху летали молнии

И шли впритирку жернова.



Я уменьшалась, как в подсвешнике.

Как дичь, приконченная влет.

И кто-то мой хребет разламывал,

Как дворники ломают лед.



Приехал лекарь в сером ватнике,

Когда порядком рассвело.

Откинул тряпки раскаленные,

И все увидели крыло.



А лекарь тихо вымыл перышки,

Росток покрепче завязал,

Спросил чего-нибудь горячего

И в утешение сказал:



- Как зуб, прорезалось крыло,

Торчит, молочное, из мякоти.

О господи, довольно плакати!

С крылом не так уж тяжело.





2. How do you see yourself, thirty years later?



Happy. I hope.



3. What do you think you were in past life?



I don't really buy into the past lives idea, but if I did -- hmm... Maybe I was myself, only no one noticed.



4. What fictional character would you like to meet and what would you ask him/her?



The idea of meeting a fictional character is kind of frightening. I don't think I'd want to meet any of the characters I like! Well... maybe the mysterious and terrifying Mistress of the Copper Mountain from Bazhov's folk tales. As for asking questions: half the fun of fictional characters is that you can make up the answers yourself. Besides, if I really did meet her, I wouldn't be likely to survive the encounter!



5. Do you have any phobias?



Not that I know of. *phew*