Yet another translation

Having listened to far too much music during my hands-free convalescence, I have succumbed to the urge to translate yet another Russian song/poem... Mainly, I confess, because it kind of reminds me of "Solo" (my fic). The original follows under the cut, for reference.



You can listen to the song here (mp3, ~0.3Mb)



Moscow Gypsy Song (The Old Waltz)

-- A. Freydin



The old waltz is burning out in your candle-holders,

It will burn, float away at my lightest touch.

Night of mine, night of mine, blood of mine,

Ancient, endless,

Into April I’ll walk, leaving you behind.



Rushing onward in a cab, to the engine’s grumbling,

And the houses as twins, all façades alike.

Cut through the road, cut off my retreat

With slashes of side-streets,

Where the captive old tram guards the circle line.



Anxious winds breathe to life daylight’s glowing embers,

And the streetlamp will raise morning’s copper moon,

Let the phone ring, let its line of fire

Blast at the night-time,

Into April I’ll fall, leaving it behind.



The old waltz is burning out in your candle-holders,

It will burn, float away at my lightest touch.

Night of mine, night of mine, blood of mine,

Ancient, endless,

Into April I’ll walk, leaving you behind.

The Russian original:

Original lyrics:



Московская цыганочка

-- А. Фрейдин



Догорает старый вальс на твоих подсвечниках,

Догорит, уплывет, - только прикоснусь...

Ночь моя, ночь моя, кровь моя древняя, вечная,

Я в апрель ухожу, в синюю весну.

Гнать по свету такси, жать моторной руганью,

А дома-близнецы на одно лицо...

Путь зачеркнуть, зачеркнуть назад косыми переулками,

Где троллейбус цепной стережет Кольцо.

Раздувает зарю ветер озабоченный,

Поднимает фонарь медную луну...

Пусть загремит, ударит в ночь телефона очередь,

Я в апрель упаду, в синюю весну.

Догорает старый вальс на твоих подсвечниках,

Догорит, уплывет, - только прикоснусь...

Ночь моя, ночь моя, кровь моя древняя, вечная,

Я в апрель ухожу, в синюю весну.

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The pentadactyl limb

Five fingers may be better than three, but three is enough to type with. I'm back!

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Nerve injury

I woke up this morning unable to feel my right hand. One panic attack and 5 hours in emergency later, I have a splint on my right wrist and the diagnosis reads "injury to radial nerve". Apparently this can be caused by sleeping in an awkward position - putting pressure on the nerve. Still can't feel my hand or flex the wrist back or spread my fingers, so I'm typing this (verrrrrry slowly) with my left hand. Have to figure out what to do about work.



So, I probably won't be writing too many posts/comments in the near future.

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How not to write dialogue (Phantom)

Someone from the Xena board found this little gem on a writers' website.

Seven Deadly Dialogue Sins

Baker & The Bellman demonstrate how NOT to write dialogue.

Happily, she smiled, "Ooo la la, Ereeek, zee zewers of gay Paree, weeth zee sewage and zee high breek walls, smeell mahvelous in zee zummer heat just zo long as tu, mon chere, are weeth me!"



Miserably, he grumbled, "Easy for you to say, Christine Daae, my secret soprano pupil. You're not holed up under the Paris Opera, season after season, listening to the same Wagnerian German arias while the damp water drips down the stony masonry walls. I have to take a gondola boat ride just to get to the loo. And it's a labryinthal maze down here in the basement, under the building, where I live."



Jealously, she seethed, "Ereek! Can it be that you love zee opera house, wheech is older zan my grandmere, more than you love me?"

Continue reading >>

He worried anxiously, "I think I'm dying of some fatal disease. I'll wake up some early morning and all at once I'll die. Your dead grandmother died all at once, didn't she? Oh, I know I have that disease. You know, the lung disease miners get where their lungs turn sooty, ashy, coal, raven, ebony. Cough, cough. Almost blackish. What's that called?"



Lustfully, she recalled, "As you know, Ereek, zat is de dreadful black lung deseeze. My pauvre grandmere, at zee old age of eighty three, died of zee black lung dezeeze all of a once just az zee doctor arrived. Zee doctor... zo young, zo handsome... Zee eyes, zee arms, so strong... How zey consoled me in my sorrow... Zee kisses..."



Hopelessly, he sighed, "The babes don't dig organ players anymore. They all lust after pulminologists and lung doctors. Of course organs, lungs... oh never mind. No one will ever love me. Ever since work began here on the Opera house in the summer of 1861, I have known that I shall be unloved and forlorn all my miserable days."



Irritated, she burned, "Ereek! Pleeze, mon chere, I did not come down here to zee zewers to hear you whine. I can hear you whine all zee time upstairs. Through the four black and gold leather-covered walls while we are waiting in zee dressing room. I came here because you promised me you would help wit zee zinging voice. I do not want to be zee chorus girl forever. Degas, he wanted to do zee sketch of me, but I stay for you."



Uncertainly, he wondered, "I whine? I don't think I whine. Do I? Who's this Degas fellow? Is he that viscount who's always running about after you? Maybe I'll have to deal with him. Or maybe I should invite him down for Sunday brunch this Sunday around 11 a.m. I'll make mimosas. As you know, Christine, mimosas are champagne and orange juice beverages what are traditionally served to drink at brunch. What if he doesn't like mimosas?"



Courageously, she declared, "Ereek, I do not think zee famous painter Degas will come to zee brunch on zee Sunday at 11 a.m. But enough of zee chitchat. I want to view zee face of mon chere. I am zee strong woman, zee corahgeous one to follow into zee zewers. Zee zewers, as you know my chere Ereek, are damp and stinkee. It is great courahge to stay with zee smell of zee refuse from zee city. Reward my courahge and remove from you zee masque."



Sarcastically, he gibed, "You're no bed of roses either, you Parisian floozy."



Pettily, she trivialized, "If you do not remove zee masque, I shall emit zee scream and bring zee polize to find you."



Regretfully, he lamented, "I could have been a celestial star. I could have been somebody. But I told my voice teacher I would hang him from the grand chandelier if the mood struck me. And it struck me. If only I hadn't lost my temper, if only I hadn't gone off track, if only I hadn't gone above, to the surface, without my sunblock. Ah, the streets of Paris. So much to see, so much to do. That's where I got this kicky beret. I had "Erik" stitched on it by a streetwalking prostitute. Ah! Paris. I saw the Bois de Boulogne, the Tuilleries, the Champ de Mars. Of course I visited Notre Dame, on the Оle de la Citй. As you know Christine, it was begun in 1163 and is the main tourist attraction here in Paris. I also visited The Arc de Triomphe, the Place de l'Йtoile, the Rue de Rivoli, Rue de la Paix, Rue de Faubourg-Saint Honorй, Avenue de l'Opйra, Boulevard des Italiens, Boulevard du Montparnasse, and the Champs Йlysйes. Then it was back to the Place de l'Opera and home sweet sewer."



With wonder, she mused, "Oh Ereek, you bring back zee memories of when I first came to zee gay Paree from zee native shores of my homeland. Zee Cathedral of Notre Dame, zee hideeous gargoyles so beootiful in zee moonlight, and my heart, she sing to zee heavens."



Curiously, he queried, "You're not Parisian? You had me fooled. And I thought you were such a big Jerry Lewis fan. What is that accent supposed to be then? You sound like Pepe LePew, the famous Warner Brothers character French skunk with the overdone fake French accent."



She sneered smugly, "LePew, LeShmue, what care I for zee famous French Skunks? I am zee soprano, zee diamond in zee rough. I am to have zee vibratto, zee agitatto, zee allegro non tropo…"



He raged angrily, "Diamond in the rough? Hey, you little French Fry you, I made you what you are. You might be able to lead a gift horse to water, but you can't look it in the mouth! You ingrate! How dare you call yourself a diamond! You're a cubic zirconia if I ever saw one. Why don't you get that Degas guy to give you singing lessons, huh? If I don't hang him from the lead crystal grand chandelier first!"



She whispered passionately, "Ereek, Ereek, mon chere, zee whole world I owe you, zee voice, zee job. I forget not zee tender moments down here in zee romantic black shadowed zewers, where Jean Valjean once rescued zee young Marius. I live for zee tender moments in zee flickering of zee flaming torchlight with you, mon chere. I keess your shadow..."



Lovingly, he revealed, "Oh Christine, I dream at night about your flaxen hair, your flashing azure eyes, your heaving bosom, your peaches and cream complexion. My heart skips a beat when I hear your angelic voice. Like the caged pet canary bird who sings only for me and me alone. Alas, I am too hideous for you to ever love me. But I love you so, I must be willing to let you go."



She wailed longingly, "Ereeek, Ereeek, I weesh I must not return me to zee sunlight and zee fresh air, and zee tedious Raoul, Viscomte de Chagny, who holds the titles to the ancestral family lands of Provence, France, and who weeshes to marry me. But alas, mon chere, I must. I scream for ze polize now. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"



He sighed despondently, "Oh well. With my luck, someone will make a highly successful musical about our star-crossed love. After all, look what happened to Jean Valjean."

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Creationism and science

Apparently so-called "intelligent design" (creationism) is now a part of the high school biology syllabus in Kansas. To, um, celebrate this moronicmomentous occasion, here are some sample exam questions from the Star Tribune.





1. Some sources suggest the earth is approximately 4.55 billion years old. Others estimate the earth is 6,012 years old. Without favoring one estimate over the other, calculate the likely age of God. Show your work.



2. The presidency of George W. Bush is an example of:

a. Heredity

b. Parasitism

c. Survival of the fittest

d. Predestination

e. Judicial activism

f. Divine intervention



3. If male zebra finches are raised by foster parents of another species, the Bengalese finch, they will court female Bengalese finches instead of females of their own kind. Which statement best explains their behavior?

a. Birds are animals!

b. Imprinting

c. Gold-digging

d. What happens in Bengal stays in Bengal

e. Co-habituation

f. If you'd ever had the chance to court a Bengalese finch, you wouldn't have to ask



4. The fossil record contains:

a. Fossils

b. Gaps

c. Skips

d. A couple of hits, but mostly B-sides

e. An elaborately, not to say intelligently, designed hoax consisting of pre-aged rocks arranged in the shapes of bones, teeth, footprints and eggs



5. Evolutionists claim that some moths have changed color to blend in with their background. This is an example of:

a. Assimilation

b. Tokenism

c. Natural selection

d. Hate speech

e. Social climbing

f. Mistaken identity



Read the whole thing here.

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Pride and Prejudice

Posting an old film review in an effort to take my mind off other things.



I freely admit that when it came to the movie of "Pride and Prejudice", my first question was - why bother making one? There is already a true-to-the-book interpretation in the BBC version with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth, and frankly, the idea of filming it again made me think of the ads for milk: "You Can't Improve On Perfect".



However. In the interests of fairness, and because I'd hate to think that I simply can't accept a new version of an old favourite (*cough*Phantom*cough*), I went and saw it. I was determined to find something to like about it, and I did: Mr Bingley was lovable (actually the Jane/Bingley romance was much better than that Lizzy/Darcy one, and that's plain weird); Mrs Bennet was less a caricature and more a real person; Mary (the dorky middle sister) was lovely as the sulky quiet kid; Charlotte Lucas was OOC but in a way I rather liked.



The list of things I didn't like is summed up very nicely in the following review I found.

A Failed Romance

A Failed Romance

from The Spark.



It is a truth universally acknowledged that movie producers hoping for a romantic hit must be in want of a Jane Austen adaptation. But what to do when there aren't any unadapted novels left? Why, remake the most popular one! As Mr. Darcy might say, any savage can make a movie, and while those responsible for this film aren't quite savages, they certainly prove themselves too coarse for Austen's genteel novel.



The fundamental problem with this film is that the spirit of a Romantic melodrama is misapplied to a Classically-proportioned novel. I never appreciated just how perfectly balanced are the plot and characters of P&P until the movie's succession of manufactured emotional outbursts and artificially heightened moments of suspense completely unravel the film's coherence by the third act. The basic plot of Pride and Prejudice, let's face it, is an overly coincidence-driven fairy tale—but it works because of Austen's characteristic narrative restraint. The writers of this movie, on the other hand, remove all subtlety. We have unaccountably absurd shots like the close-up of a hog's gonads or Elizabeth and Darcy dancing in a suddenly empty ballroom. We have two marriage proposals accompanied by the sort of rainy, foggy weather only the ghost of Catherine Earnshaw could find romantic. We have characters who are overwrought distortions; the even-keeled pragmatist, Charlotte Lucas, for example, is made to confess how frightened she is of spinsterhood. Add in "period" music whose style actually post-dates the action by ten to thirty years and suddenly everything for which we adore Jane Austen's novels—her social commentary, morality, and wit—is drowned a sea of everyone's favorite Romantic clichйs.



And the dialogue. Oh, the horror! No less a literary critic than Virginia Woolf praised Jane Austen for "[devising] a perfectly natural, shapely sentence proper for her own use and never [departing] from it." Indeed, adapting Jane Austen always poses a challenge because the narrative distance she maintains means that screenwriters must intermingle their own dialogue with Austen's; she's especially demure in the most emotional scenes. As a result, in this movie we get shabby imitations like, "You have bewitched me body and soul" alongside, "It taught me to hope as I scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before." Most screenwriters at least respect the dialogue Austen does provide; many of this novel's exchanges between Elizabeth and Darcy stand out as her most piquant. The writers of this movie, however, have the uncommonly bad taste to rewrite some of the best scenes, like Mr. Darcy's first insult to Lizzy and their argument after his first proposal. The seams of this movie are shockingly apparent; you can tell at every moment what is from Austen and what is from the screenwriters.



There is just so much the writers do not comprehend about this novel. Again and again they pretend to know better than Austen, and we end up with a strangely disjointed film as a result. For example, let's analyze their changes to the most pivotal scene in the novel: Elizabeth's tour of Pemberley. In the novel, this scene serves to allow Elizabeth, through the housekeeper who has known him since he was a child, to learn that Darcy is not the arrogant man she took him for, but instead uncommonly kind-hearted. When she unexpectedly sees him immediately thereafter, she is thus primed to receive his attentions for the first time without prejudice. In the movie, however, she mostly ignores the housekeeper's babbling as she caresses naked marble statues. So in the next scene (ridiculously rewritten to accentuate Elizabeth's embarrassment), she may be primed to rip off his clothes, but to see him with new eyes? No, not unless the opulence of Pemberley overwhelmed her into adopting her mother's distasteful, pecuniary approach to matrimony.



Overall, while it is clear that this movie fails as a Jane Austen adaptation, it may possibly succeed if you divorce it from its source. It's impossible for me to tell as a devotйe of the novel. The details that to me jar the smooth flow of the novel's action may to others make the movie more satisfying cinematically. But I came to see a remake of a Jane Austen novel and could scarcely detect her genius beneath them all.

@настроение: crap

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My grandmother died today.

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Survey for fanfic authors

A survey for fanfic writers from the Xena Online Community board (source thread is here). Saving my replies in a fit of narcissism. Also adding some Phantom stuff.

LadyKate's Survey for Fanfic Authors

1. How long have you been writing fanfic? Are you still writing?

On and off for about six years. Yes, I'm still writing.



2. Have you written fanfic in fandoms other than XENA? Was XENA the first fandom in which you wrote?

X:WP was the first, and the only fandom in which I would say I write genuine fanfic. Lately I've switched to "The Phantom of the Opera", but that feels more like original fiction to me, since I'm not deeply emotionally invested in any pairing or any one character.



3. Have you written original fiction as well as fanfic? If not, do you plan to write original fiction someday?

I've been writing poetry since before I can remember, but I never really had an interest in writing prose -- mainly because I never felt I had much to say on any specific subject. I did try writing a piece of Fantasy fiction sometime in 1999, long before I even thought of writing fanfic. I didn't finish that story, but it was a good writing experience and I still have it.



I do plan to try my hand at original fiction one day, but I don't imagine for a moment that I could make a living that way, and if I'm going to write for fun, I'd rather write fanfic and share it with other fans.



4. Do you have favorite characters to write? If so, which ones? Are there characters you find hard to write or have no interest in writing?

Xena is definitely my favourite, but I also enjoy writing Livia and Ares, although it took me a long time to learn to write Ares in a way that I was happy with. Writing Gabrielle tends to be a bit boring, but on the other hand, it's easy. I've never written Joxer because I don't find him the least bit interesting to write about, much as I like his character on the show. Same with Callisto -- both of them are so obvious and complete that there is no real challenge for the writer except to restate what has already been shown.



In the "Phantom of the Opera" fandom, my favourite character is probably Madame Giry, but I enjoy writing all of them for different reasons. Generally I don't find any one character more difficult to write than another, perhaps because the canon is tiny compared with X:WP, and so the characters are largely my own interpretation.



5. What do you most like writing and find easiest to write: (a) romance, (b) action/drama, (c) comedy, (d) angst, (e) no preference?

I like a bit of everything, but I find comedy incredibly difficult (and scary) to write, because there is just no way to tell whether the lines that crack me up will be as funny to someone else. I tend to stick to drama, with a bit of angst and romance thrown in. I don't know how to write the kind of romance that ties your stomach in knots as you wait for the characters to get together, so I don't write that kind of thing. I also try to restrain myself when it comes to writing angst: angst is by far the easiest thing to write, but it's definitely best used sparingly. I'm working on that.



6. Do you write: (a) ubers, (b) classic Xena stories, (c) Conqueror/Alternate Universe stories, (e) more than one genre?

I've written everything except Conqueror Xena, but since she appears for five minutes in a Hercules ep, I don't think that's unusual -- after all, i've never written about "Welthea-Xena" either.



7. Do you write explicit sex scenes? What about graphic violence?

Yes, and yes. Well, somewhat explicit and somewhat graphic. I don't set out to write an explicit scene, but if it feels right to do it, I don't shy away from it.



8. Are there things you absolutely will not do or even consider doing in one of your stories? E.g., kill off a character, or have Xena (or Gabrielle or Ares) sleep with someone other than who you think they should be sleeping with, or depict sexual violence or abuse.

The main thing I would never do is violate the integrity of a character -- if I don't like a character, I just don't write them. I would never "reinvent" a character the way I think they should be written, or force them into a situation that does not naturally arise from the story and from their personality.



I don't think that there are any subjects that are taboo for me in and of themselves, although there are some that must be handled very carefully. I would never, ever write a story with a gratuitous or self-indulgent treatment of violence (that includes blood-and-guts horror), because that's an insult to the reader's humanity.



9. Do you have a particular writing "method"? Do you map out the plot in advance, either in your head or in writing? Do you think through some scenes in detail before you write them? Do you edit a lot? Do you have a beta reader/beta readers? Do you ever think about/plot your next fanfic while still working on your current one?

I don't have a one-fits-all method, it depends on the story. With shorter pieces, I write because I have an idea and simply have to put it to paper, and usually those are written in one or two sittings. With longer stories I do try to plan them out as best I can, but generally I know the ending and the rough outline of events with a few milestones along the way, and then try to let the story take me there.



Sometimes I do plan a scene in detail, but usually what I plan are the characters' mental states rather than the events. If it's a plot-driven scene (something happens and people react), I tend to write it quickly and on a burst of inspiration, because figuring out a character's reaction to event X is a lot easier than trying to find an event that would make a character feel a certain way. Both types of scenes are required for a long story.



I do edit a lot, but I avoid editing stories that have been posted. This is one reason why my latest story is being posted chapter-by-chapter: I'm hoping to avoid excessive editing and stick to writing the thing. (With some, limited, success. ) I have a beta-reader, and occasionally other readers who help me to brainstorm ideas.



I never think about other long stories while writing one (in fact I generally swear I'll never write another long one ever again ) but I often think about, and even write, short pieces while working on something long.



10. Do you ever re-read your stories? Do you have a favorite/favorites?

Yes, and sort of. The favourites vary according to my mood.



11. Do you ever wish you could go back and change some things in your stories?

Usually not once they are well and truly finished, but I often wish I'd thought of doing something differently in an earlier chapter. I don't tend to dwell on it if it's something I can't change, and I'd never pull a published story to do a complete rewrite. What's done is done.



12. What do you think are your main strengths and weaknesses as a writer? Are there things you'd like to learn?

Oh, there are always things to learn. My weaknesses would be dialogue (especially slang) and humour, and occasionally pace. My strengths are probably desсriрtion and style, although I'm arguably not the most objective judge of this.



13. Have you written fanfics that you haven't posted, for whatever reason? Have you had story ideas that you like but probably won't get to write, for lack of time or other reasons?

I've posted everything I consider worthwhile. I haven't posted my very first one-page fanfic, which I wrote solely for my pleasure -- it has no literary merit whatsoever. I also have a couple of unfinished pieces -- an uber collaboration, and another old classic-Xena fic called "Lethe", which was my practice piece and is never going to see the light of day.



I've had other story ideas for X:WP fics, but not anything that has intrigued me enough to compel me to write it. I feel that I've pretty much covered all the emotional ground for myself as far as X:WP fics go, so I probably won't be writing any more.



14. What advice would you give a beginning fanfic writer?

Avoid the Mary-Sue, use a beta-reader, and don't write anything you don't believe in, even if it "sells". Also, don't forget that your mother/first-grade teacher/child could be reading your work, so think hard before writing a scene that you would be uncomfortable to discuss with people you know and respect in real life.

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Mirror, mirror...

My sister, on the ending of "The Phantom of the Opera" where the Phantom smashes all his mirrors: "He's going to have some baaaaaad luck..."



As it happens, our DVD night was the highlight of my weekend so far. The rest of it is being spent in the lab, where I am enjoying the summer sunshine through the double-glazed windows.

@настроение: exhausted

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Spooky translation bug

Ever tried to use an English-Russian online translator, only to find weird answers you'd have never thought of?



This one is certainly the weirdest bug I've seen in a long time. Check this out!



Raoul de Chagny --> Raul de Shani

Christine de Chagny --> Kristina de Chagnay



You can try it yourself at http://translation.paralink.com/ -- can someone explain to me why Christine doesn't have the right to take the surname "de Chagny" (even misspelled, without the 'soft sign' )? *spooky Twilight Zone music* Incidentally, using the French-Russian translator produces "Shani" in all cases.







Upd.: I worked it out. The program defaults to French when it encounters a French or French-sounding name, which doesn't have an English equivalent, preceding the surname. Nifty idea.

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Poem of the day

It's been ages since I posted a poem, and I couldn't go past this one. Many, many thanks to Carly for drawing my attention to Rainer Maria Rilke in general and this poem in particular.



* * *



Once I took your face into

my hands. Moonlight fell on it.

Most incomprehensible object

under overflowing tears.



Like something docile, that quietly endures,

it felt almost the way a thing feels.

And yet there was no being in that chill

night, which endlessly eludes me.



O these places toward which we surge,

pushing into the scant surfaces

all the waves of our heart,

our pleasures and our weaknesses,

and to whom do we finally hold them out?



To the stranger, who misunderstood us,

to the other, whom we never found,

to those slaves, who bound us,

to the spring winds, which promptly vanished,



and to silence, that spendthrift.





Rainer Maria Rilke, 1913

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Fanart

Procrastination with the use of a graphics tablet is a terrible thing...



Therefore with all due embarrassment, I present to you my drawing and book cover for WzlWmn's modern-day "Phantom of the Opera"-themed story, Pale Blue Eyes.



Synopsis: Erik is a mad genius, Christine is his creation -- the perfect woman designed to love him for himself. But when his little Angel comes to life, Erik gets more than he bargained for.



Click on the pictures for a larger version.



My original artwork (graphics tablet), and the final book cover:

~*~

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Top 100 Books

The British population (or at least, BBC viewers) were asked to nominate their favourite novels back in 2003, and the BBC released a Top 100 reading list from the results. This is expanded further into the Top 200 reading list.



I've read about a third of the list, but of the remainder, there are maybe 10 or so books that I'd actually like to read (eg, "All Quiet On The Western Front"). The rest don't interest me at all. So, I couldn't resist the temptation to make my own Best Reads list.



Here it is. I followed the BBC's rules and restricted it to novels only (though I made an exception for a couple of novellas); no poetry, drama or non-fiction (although I do list one novelised autobiography). All series, regardless of the number of books, are listed as one entry.





TANGO'S 100 FAVOURITE BOOKS



1. The Master and Margarita Mikhail Bulgakov

2. The Little Prince Antoine de Saint-Exupery

3. Scarlet Sails ("Alye Parusa") Aleksandr Grin (novella)

4. Threshold Sara Douglass

5. The Malachite Casket Pavel Bazhov (cycle of interconnected stories)

6. Mary Poppins Pamela L. Travers

7. The Road Runs Into The Distance ("Doroga uhodit vdal'") Alexandra Brustein

8. Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen

9. Animal Farm George Orwell

10. 1984 George Orwell

11. Three Men In A Boat Jerome K. Jerome

12. Pippi Longstocking Astrid Lindgren

13. Discworld novels Terry Pratchett

14. Karlsson-on-the-roof Astrid Lindgren

15. The Hunchback of Notre Dame Victor Hugo

16. Tevye's Daughters Sholom Aleichem

17. The Little Hedgehog In The Mist ("Ezhik v tumane") Sergey Kozlov

18. The Liveship Traders trilogy Robin Hobb

19. Wuthering Heights Emily Bronte

20. Farseer novels Robin Hobb

Continue to 21-100 >>

21. Diaspora Greg Egan

22. A Song Of Ice And Fire novels George R. R. Martin

23. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland Lewis Carroll

24. 12 Chairs Ilya Ilf and Yevgeny Petrov

25. The Masters of Rome novels Colleen McCullough

26. Night Elie Wiesel

27. Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte

28. The Emerald City novels Aleksandr Volkov (after L. Frank Baum)

29. Harry Potter novels JK Rowling

30. Here Comes The Messiah Dina Rubina

31. The Witches Roald Dahl

32. The Fountainhead Ayn Rand

33. Pale Fire Vladimir Nabokov

34. The Dispossessed Ursula K. LeGuin

35. Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury

36. Lolita Vladimir Nabokov

37. Crime and Punishment Fyodor Dostoyevsky

38. Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift

39. Dying Of The Light George R. R. Martin

40. Empire Of The Ants Bernard Werber

41. Little Anechka And Hubert The Straw ("Anechka Nevelichka i Solomennyj Gubert") Vitezslav Nezval

42. Crystal Singers trilogy Anne McCaffrey

43. Winnie The Pooh A. A. Milne

44. Matilda Roald Dahl

45. She Runs Upon The Waves ("Begushaya po volnam") Aleksandr Grin

46. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles Thomas Hardy

47. The Amphibian Man Aleksandr Belyaev

48. The Jungle Book Rudyard Kipling

49. The Phantom Of The Opera Gaston Leroux

50. Anil's Ghost Michael Ondaatje

51. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Douglas Adams

52. Miss Smilla's Feeling For Snow Peter Hoeg

53. 2001: A Space Odyssey Arthur C. Clarke

54. The English Patient Michael Ondaatje

55. The French Lieutenant's Woman John Fowles

56. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory Roald Dahl

57. Sherlock Holmes novels Arthur Conan Doyle

58. Dangerous Liaisons Chaderlos de Laclos

59. The Left Hand Of Darkness Ursula K. LeGuin

60. Cloven Hooves Megan Lindholm

61. Schindler's Ark Thomas Keneally

62. The Man Who Laughs Victor Hugo

63. Earthsea novels Ursula K. LeGuin

64. Les Miserables Victor Hugo

65. Around The World In Eighty Days Jules Verne

66. Solaris Stanislaw Lem

67. Peter Pan J. M. Barrie

68. Ash: A Secret History Mary Gentle

69. The Axis Trilogy Sara Douglass (original Australian edition)

70. Wish Peter Goldsworthy

71. Teranesia Greg Egan

72. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe C. S. Lewis

73. Number The Stars Lois Lowry

74. The Prince and the Pauper Mark Twain

75. Konduit And Shvambraniya Lev Kassil

76. From The Dust Returned Ray Bradbury

77. The Return Of The Native Thomas Hardy

78. A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court Mark Twain

79. The Magic Faraway Tree Enid Blyton

80. To Kill A Mockingbird Harper Lee

81. The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn Mark Twain

82. Robinson Crusoe Daniel Defoe

83. Anastacia novels Lois Lowry

84. River God Wilbur Smith

85. The Time-Traveller's Wife Audrey Niffenberger

86. Windsinger novels Megan Lindholm

87. Ballerina Vicky Baum

88. The Three Musketeers Alexandre Dumas

89. The Mists of Avalon Marion Zimmer-Bradley

90. The Reindeer People Saga Megan Lindholm

91. The Picture of Dorian Gray Oscar Wilde

92. God Knows Joseph Heller

93. The Lost World Arthur Conan Doyle

94. The Eyre Affair Jasper Fforde

95. Palace Katharine Kerr and Mark Kreighbaum

96. The City Who Searched Anne McCaffrey

97. The Silver Pigs and other Falco novels Lindsey Davis

98. The Player Of Games Iain M. Banks

99. The Firebrand Marion Zimmer-Bradley

100. The Forbidden Paths of Thual Victor Kelleher

---

Jewish humour

Courtesy of my mother, who is obviously busy at work.



---------

Signs on Synagogue Bulletin Boards:



- Under same management for over 5765 years.



- Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case.



- What part of "Thou shalt not" don't you understand?



- Shul committees should be made up of three members, two of whom should be absent at every meeting.



-Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew University : "The future of the Jewish people is in your hands."





-My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty. They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.



-It was mealtime during a flight on El-Al. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked Moshe, seated in front. "What are my choices?," Moshe asked. "Yes or no," she replied.



-An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and is brought to the local hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, "Mr. Gevarter, are you comfortable?" Gevarter replies, "I make a living...."



-A rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: "shmuck." At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name.... and forgot to write a letter.



-Three Jewish women get together for lunch. As they are being seated in the restaurant, one takes a deep breath and gives a long, slow "oy." The second takes a deep breath as well and lets out a long, slow "oy." The third takes a deep breath and says impatiently, "Girls, I thought we agreed that we weren't going to talk about our children."



-And one final favorite: A waiter comes over to a table full of Jewish women and asks, "Is anything all right?"

---

Reader census - IMPORTANT

Because Diary.ru is planning some major programming overhauls, the "favourite diaries" function is going to be available only as a separate client, which is a hassle. I'm reluctantly considering moving to my LJ account, but I want to know what the situation is first.



Hence, question. How many people read this diary? Of those who are, how many are planning to stay here and continue reading after this change is implemented?



If you're reading, please take a moment to leave a comment and say what you're planning to do. If you have any thoughts on moving to LJ, I'd like to hear them too.



Thanks.

---

Princess Mononoke - Tree Spirits Wallpapers

After seeing the thoroughly bizarre animated movie "Howl's Moving Castle" (a psychosexual study of which is practically begging to be written) I got curious about Hayao Miyazaki's films and borrowed a DVD of "Princess Mononoke".



I loved it -- interesting plot and characters, no real villains, shades of grey rather than black-and-white, and a thought-provoking resolution. However, what I liked best were the creepy-cute little tree spirits that appear in the forest.



Hence, two new wallpapers with the Tree Spirits. Feel free to take but please don't link directly to the files, so that I don't lose bandwidth.







Tango

---

"Night Watch" (Ночной Дозор) in Australia

After all the terrible reviews of "Night Watch" (Ночной Дозор) which I saw online when this movie came out in Russia, it looks like I will now be able to see it for myself. So. Anyone seen it? Is it worth my hard-earned $10.50?



The local cinema advertises it as follows:



An instant smash hit in its native Russia where it shattered all previous box office records and grossed US$15.75 million, see Russia's Best Foreign Film entry for the 2004 Academy Awards.



Part sci-fi thriller/fantasy and part mystery, NIGHT WATCH delves into the murkiest waters of Moscow street-life. A visionary horror fantasy film featuring a dazzling mix of special effects, adrenaline-fuelled action and suspenseful terror, this film shows the pulsing energy of recent Eastern European cinema.



Sounds like an incredibly silly special effects extravaganza...

---

Happy poetry?

The discussion of fluff vs angst in Dolly's diary inspired me to post one of my old-ish poems. This one.

FOREST



The moon is strung with threads of rain

Behind the foggy veil of cloud,

The grass is wet beneath my feet

And glistens colour like a thousand

Tiny eyes of tiny creatures

Concealed within the darkened green,

The forest music crawls in currents

Of breathless water on my skin

And barefoot, flushed with disregard

For morning's consequences spectral,

I'll run along the moonlit grass

And silver shadows neverending,

Bathed by the childhood tears of leaves

To fall, half-laughing, half-exhausted

Into the waiting, anxious, almost safe

Harbour of your heart.





Tango June, 2001

---

New translation (from Russian)

After years of promising myself I would one day translate Alexander Kochetkov's "Ballad of the Smoke-Filled Carriage" I finally got around to it. The result leaves something to be desired, but it's a start.



Alexander Kochetkov

THE BALLAD OF THE SMOKE-FILLED CARRIAGE



“How painful, dearest one, how foreign,

Having joined our roots, entwined our branches,

How painful, dearest one, how foreign

It feels to split beneath the saw!

continue >>

The wounded heart will not close over,

Will spill out clear as hot tears,

The wounded heart will not close over –

Will spill out, burning as hot sap.”



“While yet I live, with you I will be, –

The soul and blood can’t be divided, –

While yet I live, with you I will be, –

Come love, come death, forever joined.

You’ll carry everywhere with you, –

You’ll carry everywhere, beloved, –

You’ll carry everywhere with you

Your own country, your dear home.”



“But what if I can find no shelter

Against incurable compassion,

But what if I can find no shelter

Against the darkness and the cold?”

“We’ll meet beyond this separation,

Do not forget me, my beloved,

We’ll meet beyond this separation,

We will return here – you and I.”



“But what if I should disappear –

The short-lived rays of cooling daylight, –

But what if I should disappear

Beyond the stars, their milky smoke?”

“Then I will pray for you, my darling,

That you recall your way is earthly,

Then I will pray for you, my darling,

That you return to me, unharmed.”



Rattled within the smoke-filled carriage,

He now became resigned and homeless,

Rattled within the smoke-filled carriage,

He was half-crying, half-asleep,

When, on an icy slope, the engine

Bent in a terrible contortion,

When, on an icy slope, the engine,

Tore sudden wheels from sudden rails.



A merciless inhuman power,

In one great press everyone maiming,

A merciless inhuman power

Threw what was earthly from the earth.

And nobody was protected

By that long-distant promised meeting,

And nobody was protected

By a hand that beckoned, far away.



From those you love do not be parted!

From those you love do not be parted!

From those you love do not be parted!

With all your blood grow into them, –

And each time say good-bye forever!

And each time say good-bye forever!

And each time say good-bye forever, –

When leaving for a moment’s span.

---

A Solo For the Living - Chapter 24

Finally back from work travel, and here's the belated update.



Chapter 24 - La fille du Fantфme



Tango