Notre Dame in English

[tangofiction]

Having listened to the English version of some of the songs from the French musical "Notre Dame", I could not help but take the official translation as a challenge. So, armed with Google, a dictionary, and one very put-upon French-speaking friend, I've managed to concoct something resembling "Belle". (Just what the world needs: yet another version of this song.)



The original lyrics are here, and the English version is here. A few lines in this translation really appealed to me, especially in the first verse, so I kept them -- but I wanted to try to move away from those tooth-grinding "hell-tell-well" rhymes, and to stick closer to the original meaning.

Click here to see my efforts

BELLE



QUASIMODO:

Belle

Is a word that seems invented for this girl,

When she lifts her arms, and oh, two wings unfurl

A bird who'll rise up to the sun and fly away

And when she moves I feel the Earth turn into flames



She dances naked in my soul and sleep won't come

What good is offering these prayers to Notre Dame?

Tell

Who'd be the first to raise his hand and cast a stone?

I'd hang him high and laugh to see him die alone



Oh Lucifer!

Please let me once forget God's law

And run my fingers through her hair

Esmeralda



FROLLO:

Belle

Does her form conceal a demon sent from Hell

To seduce my eyes and make my soul rebel?

Who lit this fire in my bones, this carnal blaze

That tempts my faith and turns from God my shameful gaze?



She is a child of Eve, the daughter of her fall

And yet to share her sin I'd sell my very soul

Girl

This gypsy girl who seemed a whore, an empty face

Now suddenly inside her burns the human race



Oh Notre Dame!

Please let me once forget God's law

Open to me the gardens of

Esmeralda



PHOEBUS:

Belle

Though her gyspy eyes have men beneath her spell

Could the pretty girl still be a maid as well?

She dances so that any man can't help but guess

At all the wonders hidden by that rainbow dress



Oh my intended, give me leave to be untrue

Just this one time before I've bound my life to you

Who

Would be the man who'd dare to tear his eyes from her

And not be turned into a pillar made of salt



Oh Fleur-de-Lys,

I'm not a man who keeps his word

I go to pluck her bloom of love

Esmeralda



ALL THREE:

She dances naked in my soul and sleep won't come

What good is offering these prayers to Notre Dame?

Tell

Who'd be the first to raise his hand and cast a stone?

I'd hang him high and laugh to see him die alone



Oh Lucifer!

Please let me once forget God's law

And run my fingers through her hair

Esmeralda

Comments

[XenaAmber]

Making a test comment with my lovely new account...



Love the translations, by the way. I'm impressed that you can do that when you don't speak French (at least, I don't think you do!).

[tangofiction]

I'm impressed that you can do that when you don't speak French (at least, I don't think you do!)

Well, if I could do the Sappho verse for the epigraph to Cathy's ETTG without speaking Ancient Greek... Of course I don't speak French, but thanks to all this research for "Solo", I've developed a French vocab that sounds like the Romantic set of magnetic poetry: man, woman, heart, love, eyes, always, desire, soul, bird, fly...

[XenaAmber]

All very useful words, obviously.



If you ever need anything beyond vocab in French (or Spanish), drop me a line and I'll do what I can.



Btw, I really like my account... it makes me happy not to be "guest" for eternity.

[tangofiction]

Oh yes, very useful. Along with the handful of equally useful phrases gleaned from this musical, like "viens a moi" and "mourir pour toi n'est pas mourir". And thanks, I'll definitely keep your offer in mind!

[XenaAmber]

Pretty close... I don't know how accurate/picky you want to be, but the first one should be "viens ? moi" -- your version translates literally as "come in me," which is fortunately not quite as suggestive in French. The second one is missing a verb -- "mourir pour toi n'est pas mourir" -- yours says "to die for you not to die."



They're both very small errors, especially if you heard the lines rather than read them. If you should ever have cause to speak the lines, I'm sure it won't matter -- I will, however, be extremely curious what context you needed them in. :P



Any chance you could send me the "Belle" MP3 sometime?

[tangofiction]

Yes, I should be curious about the context as well! Never mind, the important thing is that I can parrot "I don't understand", which seemed to work just fine for me in Paris. But since I'm anal about these things, I'm going to go and edit my previous comment anyway. (Although you know, "come in me" would be perfectly suited to the particular song where that line, uh, comes from...)



The "Belle" MP3 is on its way. I'd recommend "La Monture" as well, you'll appreciate the lyrics.