A highly useful, if unintentionally amusing,
Manual Of Etiquette, With Hints On Politeness And Good Breeding. It's a sort of "society for dummies" handbook, which covers everything from how to bow to how to serve soup at dinner parties. Handy for anyone interested in 19th century manners.
Some amusing bits and pieces from the first half.
On heating guest roomsIt is merciless to invite friends to visit you in cold weather, without providing a fire in their bedroom or dressing-room. Neither is it courteous to wait until they arrive, and then inquire -- "Would you like a fire?"
The origin of tipping?Visitors should always give the servants who have waited upon them some little presents, either in money or its equivalent. They have had extra work in waiting upon them, and, therefore, deserve extra compensation.
How to make a phonecall without a phone: leave the dog at homeVisits of ceremony, are those which are paid after receiving attentions at the hands of your acquaintances; after dining, or supping at a friend's house; after attending an evening party; etc.; and they should invariably be of short duration; and one should never take either children or dogs when making them. Hand your card to the servant at the door, and ask if the lady or ladies are in.
Office hours without an officeYou should always call at an hour when you would expect to find ladies prepared to receive visitors, and not at lunch, or dinner-time. In most cities, regular reception days are а la mode, and are engraved upon the visiting cards, thus -- "At home Mondays, from 12 o'clock till 4." And then it is needful to call upon that day, and between the hours prescribed. Only very intimate friends would call at any other time.
How to get rid of annoying friends when you intend to travelWhen you are going to be absent from your home for months, or years, you should call upon all your friends and acquaintances, or send your card, enclosed in an envelope, with the letters, T.T.L. ("to take leave") or P.P.C. ("Pour prendre congй"), written at the right hand lower corner. [...] If, previous to a long voyage, or absence, or on the occasion of your marriage, you omit to call or send a card to your friends, it is understood that the acquaintance ceases. When you return home, those to whom you have sent cards, or paid visits, will pay the first visit to you.
The author of this book indulges her hat fetishGentlemen should always carry their hats in their hands when paying morning or evening calls, but should not place them on the chairs or parlor table. Every well-bred man knows that a hat can be made a very graceful part of his attire, especially if he knows how to hold it.
Differences between the US and Europe: unescorted ladies in publicLadies, in our country, are allowed considerable freedom in receiving and paying visits, and can appear, in the daytime, in all public places unattended by their brothers, husbands, or friends of either sex. They can also attend public exhibitions, libraries, etc., and appear on the promenades alone, but this is not the case either in Paris or London. If you attempt such proceedings in those cities, you may expose yourself to indignities which would annoy you sadly. But in the United States, ladies who behave with discretion, can go wherever they please without molestation; but in the evening, an escort is always desirable.
No peace for the smokersA gentleman walking with a lady lifts his hat to every person, gentleman or lady, to whom the lady bows, as a mark of respect to her. A well-bred man will remove his cigar from his lips whenever he bows to a lady, or even if he passes a strange lady in a hotel or in the street.
Ladies secondGentlemen always precede a lady in entering a church, concert-room, opera, or theatre, etc.; and by so doing they can more easily find a seat for the lady.
Differences between London and Paris: after-dinner entertainment for women and menIt was formerly the custom for ladies to retire after the dessert, so as to permit the gentlemen to drink deeply, and indulge in coarse jokes and conversation; but we take our table manners now from the Parisians rather than from the Londoners, and gentlemen and ladies resort to the drawing-room en compagnie.
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18.06.2006 в 01:15-
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18.06.2006 в 04:44I'm of half a mind to send the one about heating the room before the guest arrives to some people I know who insist on not feeding their friends and then making them freeze for the duration (despite possession of heater). In future I shall simply name them as "Merciless X"
I finally got around to watching Gosford Park through to the end last night, and so all of this seems eerily familiar first thing in the morning. I do wish we still sent out cards. Though knowing me, I'd get all Patrick Bateman over who had the nicer grain and font
...
(And that was an interesting post to have deleted. I wonder why also.....)
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18.06.2006 в 16:09I'm fascinated by these customs, too. I'm sure they made life easier for people in a sense, because they all knew what they were "supposed" to do. Now, we just have to use our imagination and common sense.
Lyndal
The one about the heating was a reminder to myself, because I have a friend staying over this week and it's *cold* here!
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18.06.2006 в 20:15By the way - who is that girl on your userpic (not madame Giry, of course - blue eyed girl)?
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19.06.2006 в 07:23The blue-eyed girl is Lucy Lawless, aka Xena.
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19.06.2006 в 16:08-
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19.06.2006 в 19:29You don't think she's feminine? As Xena, I actually find her feminine in the best sense of the word: not "girly", but attractively female, without fakery and affectation. A woman, not a little girl. As herself, she is probably more girlish -- but this particular picture is so cute, I couldn't resist adopting it.
This is the whole image:
And just for the heck of it, one of her as Xena:
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20.06.2006 в 00:19-
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20.06.2006 в 05:13-
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20.06.2006 в 13:02-
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21.06.2006 в 06:03-
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23.06.2006 в 17:48Это Маша. Она актриса.
You're awesome!